New Years Eve and who would have thought this time last year that we would be sitting in a brand spanking new house far away from our home town. So here we are. Dinner is all but cooked, table laid and champange is chilling in the fridge. I am waiting for Richard and Chris and Fiona to celebrate the new year in.
How should I review the previous year? Since August all that was on my mind has been the house moving but before that there were holidays to Cornwall a few of those which I enjoyed immensly visiting both my aunt and the Dales twice and having such a warm welcome , I shall look forward to doing that again hopefully next year.
There was the garden which I loved growing vegetables for the first time and that wonderfully succulent cucumber, I must grow more again this year in my new but tiny garden.
There was Phil moving out and Chris moving on and in together with Fiona which was all good. Both boys in work and both provide me with a huge source of pride and love in them and how wonderfully they have grown into lovely kind, sensitive men.
There was the great loss of the best cat in the world, Molly who I still miss today and no cat can ever really replace her.
There was the lovely holiday to Amalfi where the lemons grow and the scenary is just like a postcard wherever you look even the bus stops are wonderful.
Work was stressful and busy but gradually I am feeling a familiarity about it and it was gratifying to know I am wanted so much they let me change offices but with the current political and economic climate who knows just how safe any of our jobs will be?
There were some changes in friendships with Jayne becoming more remote and more busy with her girls lives, Lorraine changing jobs and all of us drifting slightly apart but still close. Enduring friendships with Angela are still brilliant and she was the first friend to visit me here. Christine and John have been wonderful and I always feel looked after and part of the family when I visit them and of course now been introduced to the extended family who I missed seeing this christmas.
Health has been good for which I sincerely thank the greater being who has taken care of me and my families health for without health you have nothing. I must next year endeavour to take greater care of my own health and intend like I have intended in other years to get fitter and I wonder how many other people are resolving that yet again?
Hopefully money will be sorted out and arranged better this year with clear understandings of outgoings and incomings etc.
The new year brings a new house in a new neighbourhood and lots to get used to and lots to explore. Longer journeys to work but hopefully all worth it.
I wonder what I will be saying at the end of 2010 and when I review that will I be feeling as excited and optomistice about life as I am now? I do hope so.
Happy new year to everyone, stay safe and well.
Thursday, 31 December 2009
Thursday, 24 December 2009
I LOVE MY HOUSE
So here we are!! I am sitting at the computer in the third bedroom of my new house and it feels wonderful. Whoever said material things don't bring happiness was wrong. I am happy, very happy and its all down to my lovely house. For once all my furniture and little bits and pieces look good instead of cluttered or just wrong. For once we have space to move and breath, space to leave things out and not worry that its going to get messy and horrible. We have space to go to bed when we want, get up when we want and not disturb the other person, we have space to do our own thing whilst enjoying the company of others at different times ie meal times or relaxing times in the evening. I have always said how important the environment is and now I can experience it for myself. We have always been so cluttered and restrained in our little house no wonder there were rows and disagreements. I love my new house.
Moving is exhausting and tiring but also good fun. I have enjoyed rediscovering things I packed weeks ago and deciding where to put them to their best use.
So far the only thing I can't find is my wok but that may be in the old house. Other than that it all went amazingly well. We got in just in time before the snow came and we were marooned here. All I have heard on the news is how terrible travel conditions are so it was good we were in just in time.
Since Monday all I have done is unpack boxes and move things and put things away and so now I am about 85% done. Still boxes in cupboards but otherwise it looks like a home. We also need to buy a new sofa for down stairs and some kitchen stools but otherwise it looks and feels amazingly comfortable.
I love my new dishwasher and the washing machine seems fine as does the cooker and fridge freezer. Just got to get to grips with the heating instructions as we seem to have it on either too hot or not at all but it all seemed terribly complicated on Monday and Tuesday which may have been more about my brain being overloaded.
My arms and legs ache from carrying and lifting and walking up and down three flights of stairs and my fingers ache from carrying back heavy shopping yesterday in the snow but who cares for aches and pains I LOVE MY HOUSE!!!
Moving is exhausting and tiring but also good fun. I have enjoyed rediscovering things I packed weeks ago and deciding where to put them to their best use.
So far the only thing I can't find is my wok but that may be in the old house. Other than that it all went amazingly well. We got in just in time before the snow came and we were marooned here. All I have heard on the news is how terrible travel conditions are so it was good we were in just in time.
Since Monday all I have done is unpack boxes and move things and put things away and so now I am about 85% done. Still boxes in cupboards but otherwise it looks like a home. We also need to buy a new sofa for down stairs and some kitchen stools but otherwise it looks and feels amazingly comfortable.
I love my new dishwasher and the washing machine seems fine as does the cooker and fridge freezer. Just got to get to grips with the heating instructions as we seem to have it on either too hot or not at all but it all seemed terribly complicated on Monday and Tuesday which may have been more about my brain being overloaded.
My arms and legs ache from carrying and lifting and walking up and down three flights of stairs and my fingers ache from carrying back heavy shopping yesterday in the snow but who cares for aches and pains I LOVE MY HOUSE!!!
Sunday, 20 December 2009
Although the snow was still on the ground and all around our road it was very icey we hoped that the main roads would be clear and so in the afternoon we drove off for the new house. We avoided the M11 roundabout and had a pretty good journey. Moving house would be easier if it were not for the added difficulties of Christmas and bad weather. Next time I want to move in the summer for then you get longer brighter warmer days and free roads. Whereas we get to battle with the christmas shoppers and snow and ice making things much more slower.
Bovis gave us a bottle of champange and cool bag full of tea and coffee with some mugs and a pack full of information about the house including all the manuals for the oven, dishwasher etc. Pop over the house and have a quick look round, sign the sheet and its ours!!
I like it and Richard likes it and it still feels like the right decision however scary that might be we have to make this work.
We ate our first meal in the house in the sitting room on the lovely thick carpet in a sort of picnic.
We unpacked the bits we had brought which looked completely lost in the house and then it was back in the car for the journey home and into Tescos which had a power cut to buy food and drink for the neighbours party.
I was very touched by the kind words, and tears even and the neighbours had got together to buy us a lovely ceanothus and a bird feeder which was lovely and I shall think of them when its in the garden and Angela made me a lovely Christmas wreath to put on the new front door.
Chris and Phil and Fiona came as well which was good and later after everyone had gone we sat around chatting until time to sleep.
Today Chris and Fiona were not in a rush to leave and when they did they kidnapped Colin to keep for us until Boxing day which will be another worry less for the next few days. Bruce is already becomming more confident and affectionate which is rather sad that he feels so constrained by another cat his full personality does not appear.
I am tired but still have the kitchen to wash up and pack. Got to get up early tomorrow to pack remaining computer and tv and odd bits and then weather and snow and ice permitting off we go to our new home and new life. When I next post it should be from our new home.
Friday, 18 December 2009
New home but snowed in
The money went through and the keys were ready for us to collect and claim ownership of our brand new house but snow and ice meant we were housebound and couldn't make the journey.
Its lovely getting phone calls saying congratulations on becomming the owner of a lovely new house but its frustrating at not being able to go and see it and start unloading the many boxes that are packed and ready to take there.
Our lives are in boxes now and although I have thrown away so much junk I still think we have too much that is rubbish and I suspect like Sylvia said the other day that you throw things away as you pack and then you throw away more as you unpack. We are now at the stage of having odd things that you just put in any old box as you don't know which box or category it belongs to.
I suppose thats what I have been doing lately, categorising or cataloguing our lives. Does this item belong to the kitchen box and if so is it kitchen with plastics or kitchen fragile? Does this item belong to bureau or computer or bed 3 and if so where in bed three will all this go? Richard seems to have more stuff to packwith still a full up fitted wardrobe and things under his bed except now we have run out of boxes.
The snow has been quite heavy and frozen making the roads too treacherous to drive and yet more snow is predicted tonight so I am wondering if we will get to the house tomorrow or have to put it off yet another day.
I have to be philosophical about it a few days is going to be nothing compared to a lifetime or at least years of living there. This life here with all its familiarity and comfort will go and hopefully a new life of new comforts and excitement will start and be a good one. I want to make this new house a happy home that welcomes all. I don't want it to be a quiet house but instead I would love people popping in and out and so we are going to have to work hard at making new friends and becomming sociable people that you visit. I wonder what our new neighbours will be like?
Tomorrow we have the neighbours coming round and Chris and Fiona and Phil and Angela and Lorraine and possibly Jayne were all supposed to come round but if this snow is still bad it might not be so many, which won't be a bad thing as still have lots to do.
Terry Wogan finished his show today and I felt sad and tearful listening to him saying goodbye. He was a brilliant radio presenter, always cheerful and funny, self deprecating and fairly humble. You did feel like he was with you and spoke directly to you and I will miss not being able to switch him on like I did when driving or when my regular Today programme got too heavy. Good old Tel.
Its lovely getting phone calls saying congratulations on becomming the owner of a lovely new house but its frustrating at not being able to go and see it and start unloading the many boxes that are packed and ready to take there.
Our lives are in boxes now and although I have thrown away so much junk I still think we have too much that is rubbish and I suspect like Sylvia said the other day that you throw things away as you pack and then you throw away more as you unpack. We are now at the stage of having odd things that you just put in any old box as you don't know which box or category it belongs to.
I suppose thats what I have been doing lately, categorising or cataloguing our lives. Does this item belong to the kitchen box and if so is it kitchen with plastics or kitchen fragile? Does this item belong to bureau or computer or bed 3 and if so where in bed three will all this go? Richard seems to have more stuff to packwith still a full up fitted wardrobe and things under his bed except now we have run out of boxes.
The snow has been quite heavy and frozen making the roads too treacherous to drive and yet more snow is predicted tonight so I am wondering if we will get to the house tomorrow or have to put it off yet another day.
I have to be philosophical about it a few days is going to be nothing compared to a lifetime or at least years of living there. This life here with all its familiarity and comfort will go and hopefully a new life of new comforts and excitement will start and be a good one. I want to make this new house a happy home that welcomes all. I don't want it to be a quiet house but instead I would love people popping in and out and so we are going to have to work hard at making new friends and becomming sociable people that you visit. I wonder what our new neighbours will be like?
Tomorrow we have the neighbours coming round and Chris and Fiona and Phil and Angela and Lorraine and possibly Jayne were all supposed to come round but if this snow is still bad it might not be so many, which won't be a bad thing as still have lots to do.
Terry Wogan finished his show today and I felt sad and tearful listening to him saying goodbye. He was a brilliant radio presenter, always cheerful and funny, self deprecating and fairly humble. You did feel like he was with you and spoke directly to you and I will miss not being able to switch him on like I did when driving or when my regular Today programme got too heavy. Good old Tel.
Thursday, 17 December 2009
On the night before we pick up the keys ...snow!!
Snow Snow Snow falling hard with strong winds blowing around the house making rumbling noises on the night before we are intending to pick up the keys and we suddenly go from a one house family to a two house portfolio and on our way to becomming landlords and more importantly living in a house we have chosen for ourselves.
Thats the key part of this. A house we chose. Not an ex council house allocated to us by the local authority. We had a choice in this, we liked this house, we liked the area and we chose to live there...now we have to make those choices work.
The night before we are due to pick up our keys and a blizzard is blowing and its freezing cold with a snowfall of 10 centimetres predicted which will probably settle!!
I am expecting us not to be able to get to Cambourne and am resigned to having another day to pack and clean the house a bit but knowing Richard he will want to try and get there and claim the house as ours/his. I am not prepared to risk my life on snowy roads or risk getting stuck there with no bedding etc.
Another day of packing will be useful and it is one Richard could really use himself as he has packed only two boxes and both of them just contained paperwork from under his bed. Whereas I have packed slowly and systematically for several weeks and have packed up the whole house leaving only the essential things we use daily left to pack including this computer. Even these few things will take time to pack up and I predict a busy few days ahead.
At least after lunch tomorrow I can concentrate on house rather than house and work which has been very busy and demanding and I am enourmously looking forward to two weeks off work.
When I return to work I have a new office to go work from based in Saffron Walden which is a lovely town and much nearer to our new home than Harlow would have been it all feels like it is falling into place just perfectly.....
Apart from the snow
Thats the key part of this. A house we chose. Not an ex council house allocated to us by the local authority. We had a choice in this, we liked this house, we liked the area and we chose to live there...now we have to make those choices work.
The night before we are due to pick up our keys and a blizzard is blowing and its freezing cold with a snowfall of 10 centimetres predicted which will probably settle!!
I am expecting us not to be able to get to Cambourne and am resigned to having another day to pack and clean the house a bit but knowing Richard he will want to try and get there and claim the house as ours/his. I am not prepared to risk my life on snowy roads or risk getting stuck there with no bedding etc.
Another day of packing will be useful and it is one Richard could really use himself as he has packed only two boxes and both of them just contained paperwork from under his bed. Whereas I have packed slowly and systematically for several weeks and have packed up the whole house leaving only the essential things we use daily left to pack including this computer. Even these few things will take time to pack up and I predict a busy few days ahead.
At least after lunch tomorrow I can concentrate on house rather than house and work which has been very busy and demanding and I am enourmously looking forward to two weeks off work.
When I return to work I have a new office to go work from based in Saffron Walden which is a lovely town and much nearer to our new home than Harlow would have been it all feels like it is falling into place just perfectly.....
Apart from the snow
Sunday, 13 December 2009
A week to go
Less than a week to go till the day I am now thinking of as 'Completion day' or 'The day we get the keys'. Its a bit like living on knifes edge in not knowing where we will be living in a few days time, although that is a bit dramatic its not as if I am a refugee and literally don't know. Get a grip Gill its a choice between two houses.
Karen has kindly asked us if we want to go to hers for Christmas which would help me enormously and I am putting pressure on Richard to say yes. He has this romantic illusion of spending Christmas day in our new house whereas I am faced with the reality of battling around the shops trying to buy food when I am in the mddle of unpacking boxes and trying to find loo rolls.
Still the endless sorting and packing goes on and yesterday I found the whole story of mine and Larry's affair. I had written it all down, dates, feelings and the big build up to it all. I sounded terribly innocent and romantic and wanting someone to love me which Larry did offer. I sound quite young and when you see the photo's of me I was very young. I even reflect at one point that a counsellor said I was going through a second adolescence. Then I thought that felt a good description of how I felt whereas today I would be mortified and embarrassed if someone suggested that to me.
Times move on and yes I was having a second adolescence but I think I needed that to grow up and become the person I am today. Someone with flaws but hopefully somone still kind and caring and wanting the best for everyone. Richard and I have both mellowed and grown up although we still niggle and moan and drive others mad we are better than we were a year ago and defintely better than a few years ago when we were not even talking to each other and the atmosphere in this house was unbearable. My biggest regret is the damage we may have done to the boys who were the real casualties of our war.
Karen has kindly asked us if we want to go to hers for Christmas which would help me enormously and I am putting pressure on Richard to say yes. He has this romantic illusion of spending Christmas day in our new house whereas I am faced with the reality of battling around the shops trying to buy food when I am in the mddle of unpacking boxes and trying to find loo rolls.
Still the endless sorting and packing goes on and yesterday I found the whole story of mine and Larry's affair. I had written it all down, dates, feelings and the big build up to it all. I sounded terribly innocent and romantic and wanting someone to love me which Larry did offer. I sound quite young and when you see the photo's of me I was very young. I even reflect at one point that a counsellor said I was going through a second adolescence. Then I thought that felt a good description of how I felt whereas today I would be mortified and embarrassed if someone suggested that to me.
Times move on and yes I was having a second adolescence but I think I needed that to grow up and become the person I am today. Someone with flaws but hopefully somone still kind and caring and wanting the best for everyone. Richard and I have both mellowed and grown up although we still niggle and moan and drive others mad we are better than we were a year ago and defintely better than a few years ago when we were not even talking to each other and the atmosphere in this house was unbearable. My biggest regret is the damage we may have done to the boys who were the real casualties of our war.
Wednesday, 9 December 2009
Stress
I've come to the conclusion that I am extremely stressed and possibly have high blood pressure. I have a semi permanent headache, not sleeping, feeling distracted (yesterday I got into the wrong lane at the traffic lights and ended up having to drive out of my way only to have to turn around later) and had several dizzy spells last week and now have a blood shot eye that has been bloodshot since Monday.
I tried to go to the walk in centre today but they wouldn;t see me and said I had to go to my doctors. So I have a doctors appointment tomorrow which I am sorely tempted to cancel. I got lots of work done today and after hearing from Bovis who seem to be agreeing with us that the kitchen cupboards are not sufficient some parts of life should calm down. Well work bits anyway as I feel there is little more I can do with Harlow in particular.
Well hopefully after tomorrows meeting with Together for Children life in Harlow might calm down. I seem to be on a mission with them and want perfection whereas what I can hope for is we all work together to achieve a satisfactory working arrangement. Diane keeps telling me to calm down and don;t make myself ill and i wonder just how perfectionist I am and that perhaps other Children Centres are just the same and other CCDO's have low expectations...but I don't really believe this.
Anyway I might cancel the doctors see how I am tomorrow.
Ooh more good news my desk at Saffron has been identified for me .yippeeee
I tried to go to the walk in centre today but they wouldn;t see me and said I had to go to my doctors. So I have a doctors appointment tomorrow which I am sorely tempted to cancel. I got lots of work done today and after hearing from Bovis who seem to be agreeing with us that the kitchen cupboards are not sufficient some parts of life should calm down. Well work bits anyway as I feel there is little more I can do with Harlow in particular.
Well hopefully after tomorrows meeting with Together for Children life in Harlow might calm down. I seem to be on a mission with them and want perfection whereas what I can hope for is we all work together to achieve a satisfactory working arrangement. Diane keeps telling me to calm down and don;t make myself ill and i wonder just how perfectionist I am and that perhaps other Children Centres are just the same and other CCDO's have low expectations...but I don't really believe this.
Anyway I might cancel the doctors see how I am tomorrow.
Ooh more good news my desk at Saffron has been identified for me .yippeeee
Tuesday, 8 December 2009
The battle of the kitchen cupboards
Went to visit the house on Saturday and my first thought was how over looked we are. I can see the windows in the house opposite and I guess if the people there looked out there windows they could see into our kitchen. It felt a bit odd to me because despite being surrounded by houses and flats here the flats are a little way off and its harder for them to see us as we have bushes and greenery growing which disguises the flats. I know when you are in Mary's garden which is only two along it feels incredibly over looked by the horrible flats so my perception may be self deception.
My second thought was that it seems to be pretty much how we remembered it albeit without the show house dressing....pretty much except in the kitchen above the worktop the only kitchen cupboards are two long narrow units that lift up to open a bit like a garage door only not sliding in. I can barely reach them and was thinking these would be pretty useless to me.
It was when I got home and started thinking I began to realise that there is less than half the units we were expecting!! Where was I to put glassware and crockery? Would I end up with less cupboards than I have in my tiny kitchen at present?
I phoned Bovis yesterday and was dissapointed but not shocked at their first response which was they could give us the name of the manufacturer and we could purchase some ourselves!! Their second response once I pursued this was to say they would ask the site director. They later came back and said they were having problems reaching the narrow units themselves and they would get back to me later.
Its not just reaching the units thats the problem its the lack of proper cupboards. These would hold less than half a normal cupboard and because of the narrowness would only be good for mugs and glasses. What about plates and china? What about casseroles and serving dishes?
I have decided to hold fast and say we will not proceed to completion until we have a satisfactory in our favour decision. They will try and say as they did yesterday that the spec has changed but to my mind this is totally unsatisfactory. If necessary I will delay the completion until after Christmas which might be better for us as we could have christmas here as usual with no worries about getting family to us and back again.
The whole thing is giving me a headache though as I hate all confrontation and just want a peaceful life. I wonder though it I relished the idea of a fight would I get more?
Going back to Saturday it was fun dressed in hard hats and luminous jackets and wearing big boots tramping around our soon to be home with young Andrew who seemed just as excited as us and helped us take pictures and measure for curtains etc.
Work is enormously busy as well and I find I have a permanent headache and occasionally feel dizzy and am permanently tired. I know I look tired and old and my eyes are bloodshot but apart from that am fine!! I am looking forward to the couple of weeks off work even if it will mean packing and more packing.
My second thought was that it seems to be pretty much how we remembered it albeit without the show house dressing....pretty much except in the kitchen above the worktop the only kitchen cupboards are two long narrow units that lift up to open a bit like a garage door only not sliding in. I can barely reach them and was thinking these would be pretty useless to me.
It was when I got home and started thinking I began to realise that there is less than half the units we were expecting!! Where was I to put glassware and crockery? Would I end up with less cupboards than I have in my tiny kitchen at present?
I phoned Bovis yesterday and was dissapointed but not shocked at their first response which was they could give us the name of the manufacturer and we could purchase some ourselves!! Their second response once I pursued this was to say they would ask the site director. They later came back and said they were having problems reaching the narrow units themselves and they would get back to me later.
Its not just reaching the units thats the problem its the lack of proper cupboards. These would hold less than half a normal cupboard and because of the narrowness would only be good for mugs and glasses. What about plates and china? What about casseroles and serving dishes?
I have decided to hold fast and say we will not proceed to completion until we have a satisfactory in our favour decision. They will try and say as they did yesterday that the spec has changed but to my mind this is totally unsatisfactory. If necessary I will delay the completion until after Christmas which might be better for us as we could have christmas here as usual with no worries about getting family to us and back again.
The whole thing is giving me a headache though as I hate all confrontation and just want a peaceful life. I wonder though it I relished the idea of a fight would I get more?
Going back to Saturday it was fun dressed in hard hats and luminous jackets and wearing big boots tramping around our soon to be home with young Andrew who seemed just as excited as us and helped us take pictures and measure for curtains etc.
Work is enormously busy as well and I find I have a permanent headache and occasionally feel dizzy and am permanently tired. I know I look tired and old and my eyes are bloodshot but apart from that am fine!! I am looking forward to the couple of weeks off work even if it will mean packing and more packing.
Thursday, 3 December 2009
Collect the keys 18th December
Two weeks tomorrow we can collect the keys to our new house and our new life. That is not to say we leave everything behind because of course we don't and I am realistic enough to understand that we take our problems with us....but on the other hand a lovely new house in a lovely exciting new area and lots of new adventures to be having.
We are half packed up here with boxes everywhere and yet still more stuff to pack. I am almost used to living like this now and it will be strange to get used to being tidy and having things put away in cupboards again. We are now way beyond the point of no return and all is before us
We are half packed up here with boxes everywhere and yet still more stuff to pack. I am almost used to living like this now and it will be strange to get used to being tidy and having things put away in cupboards again. We are now way beyond the point of no return and all is before us
Monday, 16 November 2009
Finding lost treasures amongst the loft.
Having quotes for removals is proving interesting. All this moving home is informing me of a whole new industry and how it works. In this day of recycling there are no tea chests anymore. Its all cardboard boxes and some companies charge you for all the boxes you use and some don't but do they include the charge within their prices? Future quotes will tell. I feel sorry for the actual removal men as it seems they only get paid for the jobs they do and apparently work is slow this year, well with the housing market slowing they are bound to be the knock on effect. An unheard of casualty.
We started properly on the loft yesterday finding old toys and clothes from when the boys were younger. Best find was a scrap book I had made with Chris about Wales. I was about 7 months pregnant with Phil at the time and its funny reading all the entries made at a time of hope for the new baby and still hope for our marriage. Who was to know that years of misery and warring was to follow although of course blessed by our lovely Phil. We also found a little book made by Chris at school about his boby brother whith a little picture of Phil with outstretched armes in a green babygro and a very pink face. Ahhh cute.
Lost wifi connection both here and at work which was both frustrating and a blessing because it gave me time to sort out the airing cupboard.
We started properly on the loft yesterday finding old toys and clothes from when the boys were younger. Best find was a scrap book I had made with Chris about Wales. I was about 7 months pregnant with Phil at the time and its funny reading all the entries made at a time of hope for the new baby and still hope for our marriage. Who was to know that years of misery and warring was to follow although of course blessed by our lovely Phil. We also found a little book made by Chris at school about his boby brother whith a little picture of Phil with outstretched armes in a green babygro and a very pink face. Ahhh cute.
Lost wifi connection both here and at work which was both frustrating and a blessing because it gave me time to sort out the airing cupboard.
Sunday, 15 November 2009
Come in and welcome
Bovis phoned earlier this week about the carpet choice, they later found our original choice but it gave me the opportunity to ask about potential dates etc. Apparently the 30th of November is wwhen the carpets go in and then approximately a week to ten days after the house should beours. So this time next month we could be sitting in our new home!! Its all very exciting and I am busy but methodically sorting out stuff and packing things we don't use all that often. I've done all the ornaments and pictures and bits and pieces and cleared out the bureau yesterday. Today I aim to finish the area around this computer and possibly sort out the kitchen carousel and give that a good clean.
Jackie came round in the week and apparently Daniel and Sophie might now be interested in the house afterall. This would be brilliant in so many ways but also slightly embarrassing as I am sure my housework standards are not to Jackies!
We've had a quite a few visitors lately what with the boys and different people popping in for house stuff like yesterday we had the carpet people round who made a great fuss of Colin and we had a chat. Earlier in the week a young CID woman officer called by regarding the attempted break in at Mary's and she got completely distracted by Colin. I think both Richard and I like havng visitors and this is definetely something I would want to encourage in our new home.
I envisage our home being busy and often full of people. I want our home to be the place where you go a warm inviting and happy place where people enjoy our company. My ethos will be come in and welcome.
Jackie came round in the week and apparently Daniel and Sophie might now be interested in the house afterall. This would be brilliant in so many ways but also slightly embarrassing as I am sure my housework standards are not to Jackies!
We've had a quite a few visitors lately what with the boys and different people popping in for house stuff like yesterday we had the carpet people round who made a great fuss of Colin and we had a chat. Earlier in the week a young CID woman officer called by regarding the attempted break in at Mary's and she got completely distracted by Colin. I think both Richard and I like havng visitors and this is definetely something I would want to encourage in our new home.
I envisage our home being busy and often full of people. I want our home to be the place where you go a warm inviting and happy place where people enjoy our company. My ethos will be come in and welcome.
Monday, 9 November 2009
So let me tell you about Colin or rather Colin/Damien.
A week ago last Friday I had a text from Jackie next door asking me to call in. When they opened the door Leanne was holding in the palm of one hand the smallest blackest cutest and calmest and most chillest kitten. Wrong sex as we had said if you get a female stray kitten but how could you resist something that just sat in the palm of your hand and snuggled up to you almost purring?
We took him home on a trial basis just incase Bruce really did object and that night he had some kitten milk although was not eating just yet. We wondered how old he was although the vets thought he was 6 weeks we were not sure if he had been weaned or not.
The next day he was still calm but once we found he liked dried biscuits he found his appetite and still loved the kitten milk. Now he was pooing and weeing which was a relief and using his tray which was brilliant and now was really purring everytime we went into his room to make a fuss of him.
There was no more chilled and calm Colin the cat (named after the Collins) now we had a little demon who would jump out on your feet as you passed the clothes horse or bite your hands or your ankles. Now we had a little black imp who stood on two feet to get higher with paws outstretched to get to you.
Chris said as we got him the night before halloween we should call him Damien and although I resisted on nights like tonight when you can't relax without him jumping and biting and scratching I am beginning to wonder and so he is good calm Colin and bad naughty Damien. We must make sure that it is Colin who wins.
Sunday, 8 November 2009
This House
We've exchanged contracts now and are just waiting for the house to be completed and then its all systems go go go. I've gone from sheer terror at the thought of such a big mortgage and lifestyle change to really feeling frustrated at the slowness of things. I feel like we are running in slow motion and I just want to hurry it all up and get to the part where I am unpacking things and planning the garden and getting to know the area. I have to keep myself in check otherwise this new house is going to be such a dissapointment as it will never reach my expectations at this rate. I am excited though and found myself literally shrieking and jumping with joy and excitement when the contracts were exchanged.
I thought as we won't be here much longer I would run through this present house as a way of keeping a written reminder of what it is like in LGF.
Bedroom 2 is a apparently a double bedroom size (to us its the smaller of the two rooms). When we first moved in it was Chris's room with jungle wallpaper and graffe lampshade. Later it became our bedroom and later again it was back to being Phil's room now it belongs to Colin the kitten (he deserves his own post another time). This room faces north and out on to the garden. It was lying in bed in this room when I heard the chaffinch singing his heart out one spring which inspired me to find out what bird was making that gloriously loud song every morning. I then became really interested in bird watching and now regularly feed and watch my birds from all the windows overlooking the garden.
Bedroom 1 is a large double bedroom more wide than deep but big enough for when both boys were here for them to have a large space in the bedroom. Now its our room and this faces south and the road and opposite houses, from my bed I have a view of the roofs opposite and little bit of sky. From this window I would peer and squint through the bushes and trees opposite and just be able to see the window of Chris's first class when he started school. Sometimes I would think I could see a child at the class window and wondered if it were him? I see now I was suffering from anxious mum syndrome and give myself a little sympathy. This room is currently two shades of very pale lavender/white and a deep crimson maroon on a 'feature wall' (estate agent speak). The carpet was a donation from Marion whose husband was a project manager for a chain of pubs and earllier shops so our carpet can often be seen in various places and has worn very well although is actually a horrid red colour.
The bathroom is quite large and has its own story posted on here just 18 months ago. It is now a very smart white with grey tiles bathroom although I should clean those tiles more often I am a bit lazy where that is concerned.
Come through the hall which has bookcases and a very worn and cat torn carpet to the hall and into the sitting room. This is a large room which runs the length of the house with windows letting in the south and north. It used to be a warm house and sitting room however since we replaced carpet with laminate flooring and I dont think the heating is that efficient it is a cold and draughty room in winter. Last year I was going to bed at 8 just to be warm althouth I suppose I could have used the gas fire more often.
This has large flowery modern wallpaper on the fireplace wall and beige wallpaper on the others. We had a leak last year and it was decorated by profeesionals through the insurance but to be honest I think the dark flowery wallpaper was a mistake and another good reason to go. The fire is nearly thirty years old and looks terrible but to replace it would mean replacing the backboiler and we need to get some rental revenue in order to afford that.
This is the room where we live. We eat here either separately on our laps in front of the tv or sometimes at the table with family and friends. Christmases have been spent here playing games, not talking, rowing, opening presents, dressing trees and watching tv. Last Christmas we had a houseful and it was brilliant with lots of laughs, good food and plenty of drink. We all played games and opened presents and there was lots of love and good will abound. Iwant to take that feeling to the new house.
The kitchen is small and causes endless arguments as we jostle around each other to make a cup of tea or open the fridge door or cook a meal. This room had its own makeover a few years back and is much better than when we first moved in with its two plug points and a wonky worktop. We did however keep the oldfashioned broom cupboard and larder with its stone shelf. I shall miss these.
The kitchen goes out into the garden which is long and as wide as the house. Being north facing it only gets the sun on the patio area in May and June and early July but the garden is where I spend as much time as possible in the summer. My happiest memories are sitting at the garden table eating breakfast with both Molly and Bruce for company, listening to the birds.
I always tried my best with the garden although earlier mistakes still haunt this garden with the biggest mistake when both Jackie and I planted Russian vine to stop the dogs from rushing up and down and wearing out the grass. This plant now takes over everything and provides endless work for both our houses. A plague of russian vine on both our houses!! Success have included my hanging baskets and pots and I have to admit in the summer it does have the cottage feel to it and has given me huge pleasure in both producing and maintaining and sitting amongst it. This year I have grown veg for the first time and my cucumber was the best thing ever!! Although our new garden will be north facing and smaller than this one I am not daunted and intend to make it like a large patio with pots and plants that I know do well in the shady areas. I am also intending to put my name down on an allotment and want to grow that veg again.
Back though the kitchen and sitting room to the hall where I sit now listening the Archers omnibus while typing this blog. The computer table is under the stair well and surrounded by boxes of books and cd's and other paraphanalia. You could describe it as a cosy study area or a small place in amongst all the stuff we accumulate where you can just squeeze your body in. I am going to sort this place out today. However this place has been busy since the advent of internet with Phil playing games, Richard talking to different people across the world about races etc and me reaching out of my lonliness to find comfort, excitment and new friends and some mistakes via the internet. Its from here I met Craig which was a horrible experience but which also led to other more positive friendships including Bristol and Aurora and Tony. I have booked so many holidays from this chair and explored so many places and of course typed up this blog.
This hall is a sunny room on good days but today with the rain and drizzle its a bit November gloomy. Out of our blue front door and onto the street with Jill and Paul and Mary and Pete on the left hand side. All very good people but Elvis is not my favourite singer and listening to the incessant laughter and noise every suumer day has driven me mad and yes I know it was my own intolerance as they are all very nice people who don't keep you awake wiht loud noises and would help you if you needed it. The otherside is Jackie and Ian who have been neighbours for 26 years and who cried when I told her we were moving. Phil and Daniel used to share both our gardens with the little gate between them they could choose from twice the toys and even decide what dinners they wanted best. Phil was lucky playing on next doors swing set and Daniel could play subbuteo or lego in our house.
In this house I have cried with sadness for pets, miscarriages, broken marriage dreams and bereavement when my Dad died. In this house a young couple with a small toddler son moved in and grew to include our second son. The marriage died and many horrible battles were fought none of which resulted in a satisfactory peace. My biggest regret is what did our horrible marriage do to the boys. In this house we played with our children and tried our best to show them the right way to behave, we worked and study and did our best to be upright respectable people. In this house we struggled with money and tried to buy furniture that would both be comfortable and reflect our tastes and likes. To this house we arrived young and poor with still little idea of who we were or what we wanted. From this house we leave middleaged, more sure of who we are and what we want. From this house we leave in friendship and companionship our marriage more settled and comfortable than it has for years. Now we can talk and share ideas and even enjoy each others company. I leave this house for the new with a great sense of excitement and oppotism for the future. Now I just want to get on with the rest of my life.
I thought as we won't be here much longer I would run through this present house as a way of keeping a written reminder of what it is like in LGF.
Bedroom 2 is a apparently a double bedroom size (to us its the smaller of the two rooms). When we first moved in it was Chris's room with jungle wallpaper and graffe lampshade. Later it became our bedroom and later again it was back to being Phil's room now it belongs to Colin the kitten (he deserves his own post another time). This room faces north and out on to the garden. It was lying in bed in this room when I heard the chaffinch singing his heart out one spring which inspired me to find out what bird was making that gloriously loud song every morning. I then became really interested in bird watching and now regularly feed and watch my birds from all the windows overlooking the garden.
Bedroom 1 is a large double bedroom more wide than deep but big enough for when both boys were here for them to have a large space in the bedroom. Now its our room and this faces south and the road and opposite houses, from my bed I have a view of the roofs opposite and little bit of sky. From this window I would peer and squint through the bushes and trees opposite and just be able to see the window of Chris's first class when he started school. Sometimes I would think I could see a child at the class window and wondered if it were him? I see now I was suffering from anxious mum syndrome and give myself a little sympathy. This room is currently two shades of very pale lavender/white and a deep crimson maroon on a 'feature wall' (estate agent speak). The carpet was a donation from Marion whose husband was a project manager for a chain of pubs and earllier shops so our carpet can often be seen in various places and has worn very well although is actually a horrid red colour.
The bathroom is quite large and has its own story posted on here just 18 months ago. It is now a very smart white with grey tiles bathroom although I should clean those tiles more often I am a bit lazy where that is concerned.
Come through the hall which has bookcases and a very worn and cat torn carpet to the hall and into the sitting room. This is a large room which runs the length of the house with windows letting in the south and north. It used to be a warm house and sitting room however since we replaced carpet with laminate flooring and I dont think the heating is that efficient it is a cold and draughty room in winter. Last year I was going to bed at 8 just to be warm althouth I suppose I could have used the gas fire more often.
This has large flowery modern wallpaper on the fireplace wall and beige wallpaper on the others. We had a leak last year and it was decorated by profeesionals through the insurance but to be honest I think the dark flowery wallpaper was a mistake and another good reason to go. The fire is nearly thirty years old and looks terrible but to replace it would mean replacing the backboiler and we need to get some rental revenue in order to afford that.
This is the room where we live. We eat here either separately on our laps in front of the tv or sometimes at the table with family and friends. Christmases have been spent here playing games, not talking, rowing, opening presents, dressing trees and watching tv. Last Christmas we had a houseful and it was brilliant with lots of laughs, good food and plenty of drink. We all played games and opened presents and there was lots of love and good will abound. Iwant to take that feeling to the new house.
The kitchen is small and causes endless arguments as we jostle around each other to make a cup of tea or open the fridge door or cook a meal. This room had its own makeover a few years back and is much better than when we first moved in with its two plug points and a wonky worktop. We did however keep the oldfashioned broom cupboard and larder with its stone shelf. I shall miss these.
The kitchen goes out into the garden which is long and as wide as the house. Being north facing it only gets the sun on the patio area in May and June and early July but the garden is where I spend as much time as possible in the summer. My happiest memories are sitting at the garden table eating breakfast with both Molly and Bruce for company, listening to the birds.
I always tried my best with the garden although earlier mistakes still haunt this garden with the biggest mistake when both Jackie and I planted Russian vine to stop the dogs from rushing up and down and wearing out the grass. This plant now takes over everything and provides endless work for both our houses. A plague of russian vine on both our houses!! Success have included my hanging baskets and pots and I have to admit in the summer it does have the cottage feel to it and has given me huge pleasure in both producing and maintaining and sitting amongst it. This year I have grown veg for the first time and my cucumber was the best thing ever!! Although our new garden will be north facing and smaller than this one I am not daunted and intend to make it like a large patio with pots and plants that I know do well in the shady areas. I am also intending to put my name down on an allotment and want to grow that veg again.
Back though the kitchen and sitting room to the hall where I sit now listening the Archers omnibus while typing this blog. The computer table is under the stair well and surrounded by boxes of books and cd's and other paraphanalia. You could describe it as a cosy study area or a small place in amongst all the stuff we accumulate where you can just squeeze your body in. I am going to sort this place out today. However this place has been busy since the advent of internet with Phil playing games, Richard talking to different people across the world about races etc and me reaching out of my lonliness to find comfort, excitment and new friends and some mistakes via the internet. Its from here I met Craig which was a horrible experience but which also led to other more positive friendships including Bristol and Aurora and Tony. I have booked so many holidays from this chair and explored so many places and of course typed up this blog.
This hall is a sunny room on good days but today with the rain and drizzle its a bit November gloomy. Out of our blue front door and onto the street with Jill and Paul and Mary and Pete on the left hand side. All very good people but Elvis is not my favourite singer and listening to the incessant laughter and noise every suumer day has driven me mad and yes I know it was my own intolerance as they are all very nice people who don't keep you awake wiht loud noises and would help you if you needed it. The otherside is Jackie and Ian who have been neighbours for 26 years and who cried when I told her we were moving. Phil and Daniel used to share both our gardens with the little gate between them they could choose from twice the toys and even decide what dinners they wanted best. Phil was lucky playing on next doors swing set and Daniel could play subbuteo or lego in our house.
In this house I have cried with sadness for pets, miscarriages, broken marriage dreams and bereavement when my Dad died. In this house a young couple with a small toddler son moved in and grew to include our second son. The marriage died and many horrible battles were fought none of which resulted in a satisfactory peace. My biggest regret is what did our horrible marriage do to the boys. In this house we played with our children and tried our best to show them the right way to behave, we worked and study and did our best to be upright respectable people. In this house we struggled with money and tried to buy furniture that would both be comfortable and reflect our tastes and likes. To this house we arrived young and poor with still little idea of who we were or what we wanted. From this house we leave middleaged, more sure of who we are and what we want. From this house we leave in friendship and companionship our marriage more settled and comfortable than it has for years. Now we can talk and share ideas and even enjoy each others company. I leave this house for the new with a great sense of excitement and oppotism for the future. Now I just want to get on with the rest of my life.
Saturday, 24 October 2009
October update ...exchange contracts
I cant believe its a month since I last posted and yet not much has really progressed so far as the house is concerned. We do now have the mortgage agreed through a different company which actually went through in less than a week so it was jus the Abbey being awkward.
We've had some delay in getting the contracts exchanged as we have been quibbling over paying the deposit. It turned out that the builders deposit was not a deposit after all and they suddenly were asking for 22 thousand pounds!! Richard and well done to him has got this reduced to 3 thousand and by moving monies around and borrowing a thousand off Phil has got it together so hopefully on Monday the contracts will be exchanged and then we are yet another step nearer to the house being ours. Goodness knows what wil happen if some other emergency occurs cos Richard doesn't have a penny now for a month till he gets paid.
We really didn't think this though properly and should have thought about all the on costs of moving including extra monies for soliciters etc but here we are so far committed it would be very difficult to back out of now and just about to really go ahead with a huge mortgage and move away from everything familiar.
The second part is something I am looking forward to. I know it will be strange being in a large house with out familiar neighbours or even the ability to just pop round someones if i want to not that I ever do now. I used to much more a couple of years ago but now I go to work and just come home so why not come home to something I like and can be proud of?
On the whole I have enjoyed the process so far. Its been stressful and challenging and I have learned lots and its made Richard and I closer apart from any little hiccup when Richard gets completely stressed and starts swearing and shouting and slamming around. He reallly does not do change well and just cannot cope with anything that might challenge. He would be terrible in a real emergency and would be a hopeless police officer.
Today I started a bit more seriously on sorting stuff out in both the garden and Phil's room. I need to do the gloss paint in his room and then we can get the carpet and new bed then that room is done.
I am still addicted to Kirsty and Phil and even find myself admiring original features when looking at nurseries and reccommending to people to make friends with their estate agents!! If only they knew!!
ps Amalfi was glorious, beautiful and will probably be the last abroad holiday for at least a couple of years.
We've had some delay in getting the contracts exchanged as we have been quibbling over paying the deposit. It turned out that the builders deposit was not a deposit after all and they suddenly were asking for 22 thousand pounds!! Richard and well done to him has got this reduced to 3 thousand and by moving monies around and borrowing a thousand off Phil has got it together so hopefully on Monday the contracts will be exchanged and then we are yet another step nearer to the house being ours. Goodness knows what wil happen if some other emergency occurs cos Richard doesn't have a penny now for a month till he gets paid.
We really didn't think this though properly and should have thought about all the on costs of moving including extra monies for soliciters etc but here we are so far committed it would be very difficult to back out of now and just about to really go ahead with a huge mortgage and move away from everything familiar.
The second part is something I am looking forward to. I know it will be strange being in a large house with out familiar neighbours or even the ability to just pop round someones if i want to not that I ever do now. I used to much more a couple of years ago but now I go to work and just come home so why not come home to something I like and can be proud of?
On the whole I have enjoyed the process so far. Its been stressful and challenging and I have learned lots and its made Richard and I closer apart from any little hiccup when Richard gets completely stressed and starts swearing and shouting and slamming around. He reallly does not do change well and just cannot cope with anything that might challenge. He would be terrible in a real emergency and would be a hopeless police officer.
Today I started a bit more seriously on sorting stuff out in both the garden and Phil's room. I need to do the gloss paint in his room and then we can get the carpet and new bed then that room is done.
I am still addicted to Kirsty and Phil and even find myself admiring original features when looking at nurseries and reccommending to people to make friends with their estate agents!! If only they knew!!
ps Amalfi was glorious, beautiful and will probably be the last abroad holiday for at least a couple of years.
Sunday, 20 September 2009
The land of limbo and half diablos
Here we are almost a month since my last post and no real further forward. The mortgage company are undervaluing the new house and so we've had to agree to a new valuation paid for by Bovis but through the mortgage agent and through us in a very convoluted way.
We await the outcome of the new valuation with trepidation. Will will get the mortgage and actually should we want a mortgage of this size? There are all kinds of threats of cut back to public services and this time next year I could find myself redundant and then what would we do? Although with our joint income even me getting a lower paid but more local job would still make the payments manageable.
I am addicted to property programmes and watch Kirsty and Phil negotiate with vendors (see I even have the right termonology) and discuss knocking down walls and that actually did you know that to increase space is cheaper than buying more space? I watch Sarah advise people who don't listen about how to make the most money out of their property and wonder at how she stays so calm and smiley while they just completely disregard her advice. If she came knocking at my door I'd be asking her to write it all down so I could follow it word for word.
So the bottom line is if we don't get this house we will try for another....and in the meantime I tidy and sort out stuff weekend after weekend. Last weekend it was the marathon lego washing weekend, this its been under my bed weekend finding old essays and folders on the English civil war. Looking at old scripts and good luck cards and finding half of Chris diablo set apparrently the other half is in a shoe box.
So this weekend its the start of musical homes with Chris new lodger the weasley faced Tony moving in. I'm not sure we should trust the ferrety looking chap. I know you should not judge a book by its covers but I keep remembering what the weasels did to Toad Hall when poor Toad was out of the picture. My Phil could be like Moley and kept prisoner by Mr Weasel. (must stop being silly)
Then Chris and Fiona are off to Yorkshire for a holiday and Phil moves in temporarily this week. I go on holiday to Amalfi next week and when I come back Chris and Fi move to Muswell Hill and Phil moves in permanently to Chris flat...then we find out if we stay here, go to Cambourne or find somewhere else...it could be exciting but instead it just feels a bit limboish.
We await the outcome of the new valuation with trepidation. Will will get the mortgage and actually should we want a mortgage of this size? There are all kinds of threats of cut back to public services and this time next year I could find myself redundant and then what would we do? Although with our joint income even me getting a lower paid but more local job would still make the payments manageable.
I am addicted to property programmes and watch Kirsty and Phil negotiate with vendors (see I even have the right termonology) and discuss knocking down walls and that actually did you know that to increase space is cheaper than buying more space? I watch Sarah advise people who don't listen about how to make the most money out of their property and wonder at how she stays so calm and smiley while they just completely disregard her advice. If she came knocking at my door I'd be asking her to write it all down so I could follow it word for word.
So the bottom line is if we don't get this house we will try for another....and in the meantime I tidy and sort out stuff weekend after weekend. Last weekend it was the marathon lego washing weekend, this its been under my bed weekend finding old essays and folders on the English civil war. Looking at old scripts and good luck cards and finding half of Chris diablo set apparrently the other half is in a shoe box.
So this weekend its the start of musical homes with Chris new lodger the weasley faced Tony moving in. I'm not sure we should trust the ferrety looking chap. I know you should not judge a book by its covers but I keep remembering what the weasels did to Toad Hall when poor Toad was out of the picture. My Phil could be like Moley and kept prisoner by Mr Weasel. (must stop being silly)
Then Chris and Fiona are off to Yorkshire for a holiday and Phil moves in temporarily this week. I go on holiday to Amalfi next week and when I come back Chris and Fi move to Muswell Hill and Phil moves in permanently to Chris flat...then we find out if we stay here, go to Cambourne or find somewhere else...it could be exciting but instead it just feels a bit limboish.
Friday, 21 August 2009
Dilemma ...new house or not
So now the moment of truth dawns, the day of real deciding if we can really do this. We need to put a deposit down on the house in Cambourne and suddenly Richard starts getting all arsey about paying for things and yet for three weeks I have been checking with him as to if we can afford it and stressing and saying I can pay for nothing until my debts are paid off. Now at the moment when its almost too late he starts reading about it and making workings outs etc. This is just so typical whereas he could have read the material for the last two bloody weeks.
Can we afford it? Is it real? Has all the build up and excitement been for nothing? Will I one day read this and remember it all as a nice day dream while still sitting in good old Harlow? Will I one day read this while under a cloud of scarily high debt or will I one day read this while sitting in my lovely new house in Cambourne knowing I made the right or rather we made the right decision?
On paper we can do it? On paper our outgoings will not be any more that we pay already between us but but the reality is we are increasing our debt from £36 thousand to £171 thousand which is a massively scary figure and I am not sure that Magical mortgage man Andrew has really worked out a realistic sum for us.
He really was like a magician with numbers, his fingures whirling over the calculator and numbers muttering under his breath saying we can do this if we move this to this etc. Meanwhle Richard and I sat there like dumb mutes in stupified admiration just watching and barely able to keep up with it all. We were like lambs to the slaughter of his magical workings out and all the time the thoughts in my head were if it seems to good to be true then it probably is.
Yet here we are three weeks down the line with prospective lettings agencies willing to take our house and rent it out and mortgage companies calculating how much they will loan us and us planning tomorrow to look at new carpet for here and to visit the site on Sunday to plan our new kitchen!!
Will it happen? Can we make it happen and more importantly should we make it happen? Scared? Completely. Challenged? Absoloutely. Want to press ahead and make it happen? You bet. We only have one life and I don't want to die regretting not trying.
Can we afford it? Is it real? Has all the build up and excitement been for nothing? Will I one day read this and remember it all as a nice day dream while still sitting in good old Harlow? Will I one day read this while under a cloud of scarily high debt or will I one day read this while sitting in my lovely new house in Cambourne knowing I made the right or rather we made the right decision?
On paper we can do it? On paper our outgoings will not be any more that we pay already between us but but the reality is we are increasing our debt from £36 thousand to £171 thousand which is a massively scary figure and I am not sure that Magical mortgage man Andrew has really worked out a realistic sum for us.
He really was like a magician with numbers, his fingures whirling over the calculator and numbers muttering under his breath saying we can do this if we move this to this etc. Meanwhle Richard and I sat there like dumb mutes in stupified admiration just watching and barely able to keep up with it all. We were like lambs to the slaughter of his magical workings out and all the time the thoughts in my head were if it seems to good to be true then it probably is.
Yet here we are three weeks down the line with prospective lettings agencies willing to take our house and rent it out and mortgage companies calculating how much they will loan us and us planning tomorrow to look at new carpet for here and to visit the site on Sunday to plan our new kitchen!!
Will it happen? Can we make it happen and more importantly should we make it happen? Scared? Completely. Challenged? Absoloutely. Want to press ahead and make it happen? You bet. We only have one life and I don't want to die regretting not trying.
Tuesday, 4 August 2009
This time next year......
I find I am searching or looking for something and not knowing what it is until suddenly and shockingly and sadly I realise I am looking for Molly and of course I am never going to find her again.
Some of the details for the mortgage arrived yesterday via email. Interest only on the new house, so Richard was right. It all looks and feels a bit scary and in true typical fashion although I have pay slips for July and June I cannot find April or May!! They also want bank statements which is worrying as mine all show dipping heavily into overdraft. The big question behind all this is can we afford it?
Turning this house into the buy to let sounds wonderful on paper but in reality it will cost us money to start with. We need inspections and certificates, starting up costs etc. I suppose I should work out a start up budget and see if that is affordable.
I do fanatasize about moving to the new house. The lovely big kitchen/family room which will actually be my garden room and I plan to sit by the open door looking out into the garden.
We must do this I cannot bear to stay in this town another year.
This time next year I will be posting a blog from the kitchen of my new house!!
Some of the details for the mortgage arrived yesterday via email. Interest only on the new house, so Richard was right. It all looks and feels a bit scary and in true typical fashion although I have pay slips for July and June I cannot find April or May!! They also want bank statements which is worrying as mine all show dipping heavily into overdraft. The big question behind all this is can we afford it?
Turning this house into the buy to let sounds wonderful on paper but in reality it will cost us money to start with. We need inspections and certificates, starting up costs etc. I suppose I should work out a start up budget and see if that is affordable.
I do fanatasize about moving to the new house. The lovely big kitchen/family room which will actually be my garden room and I plan to sit by the open door looking out into the garden.
We must do this I cannot bear to stay in this town another year.
This time next year I will be posting a blog from the kitchen of my new house!!
Sunday, 2 August 2009
Moving and this time next year - a prediction
Still all feeling sad about Molly. We come into a room and expect her to be waiting to greet us. I hear a noise and think its her, I see a shadow out of the corner of my eye and expect it to be her. I am still in a state of disbelief that she is no more and I can't look at her photo without wanting to cry. I just want to hold her and feel her purr and her gentle ears and her head under my chin and I can't anymore ever again and thats what hurts. Richard suggested we held a memorial and I will look for a cat statue to put in the garden so we have somewhere to focus our grief and remember her by.
Poor Molly has quite put into the shadow the big news of the moment which is should we sell up, get ourselves into debt and move? We are looking at a new development not far from a beautiful city with lots of arts, education, beautiful buildings and water. The development is built around the ideas of a village and set within the countryside. I've done quite exhaustive research thanks to the internet and spoken the chair of the parish council who told me lots of interesting things and scarily we now have a house on hold and a mortgage advisor rushing around finding us all kinds of mortgages etc. Suddenly our rather safe and slow pace of life seems to be out of control and if it all goes ahead we will suddenly find we own two houses one of which we will rent out.
Speaking to Karen today was useful as she knows lots about housing and she thinks we are doing the right thing. The internet backs up the mortgage advisor and although in the back of my head I am saying if it feels to good to be true it probably is the other part of me is saying just go for it and don't live a life of regrets through taking risks.
I dream of this house with its large kitchen/family room that goes out onto the garden. I have a green colour scheme that will compliment the garden outside and with pots around the french windows and light green arm chairs or sofa surrounded by books and flowers and cooking. To me that would be the perfect room. Books, plants/flowers/cooking ..what else could you need?
The sitting room upstairs could be kept nice and for music, tv and reading and socialising although lots of socialising could also be down stairs.
Having your own bedroom with onsuite would be fantastic and again mine would be light and airy with books and feminine things.
The local community has lots of new clubs and organisations forming from running clubs for Richard to history and art clubs for me. Its set within the countryside so we could get a dog and go for long walks just a stone throw from home.
Working hard would bring its rewards of living in a lovely place with good neighbours and interesting things to do. I am excited and nervous and want things to get a move on because I don't want to live here anymore but at the same time feeling scared. This time next year I will be there!!
Poor Molly has quite put into the shadow the big news of the moment which is should we sell up, get ourselves into debt and move? We are looking at a new development not far from a beautiful city with lots of arts, education, beautiful buildings and water. The development is built around the ideas of a village and set within the countryside. I've done quite exhaustive research thanks to the internet and spoken the chair of the parish council who told me lots of interesting things and scarily we now have a house on hold and a mortgage advisor rushing around finding us all kinds of mortgages etc. Suddenly our rather safe and slow pace of life seems to be out of control and if it all goes ahead we will suddenly find we own two houses one of which we will rent out.
Speaking to Karen today was useful as she knows lots about housing and she thinks we are doing the right thing. The internet backs up the mortgage advisor and although in the back of my head I am saying if it feels to good to be true it probably is the other part of me is saying just go for it and don't live a life of regrets through taking risks.
I dream of this house with its large kitchen/family room that goes out onto the garden. I have a green colour scheme that will compliment the garden outside and with pots around the french windows and light green arm chairs or sofa surrounded by books and flowers and cooking. To me that would be the perfect room. Books, plants/flowers/cooking ..what else could you need?
The sitting room upstairs could be kept nice and for music, tv and reading and socialising although lots of socialising could also be down stairs.
Having your own bedroom with onsuite would be fantastic and again mine would be light and airy with books and feminine things.
The local community has lots of new clubs and organisations forming from running clubs for Richard to history and art clubs for me. Its set within the countryside so we could get a dog and go for long walks just a stone throw from home.
Working hard would bring its rewards of living in a lovely place with good neighbours and interesting things to do. I am excited and nervous and want things to get a move on because I don't want to live here anymore but at the same time feeling scared. This time next year I will be there!!
Thursday, 30 July 2009
Molly
The most beautiful, affectionate and loving cat in the whole world was put to sleep today despite being only 9 years old and acting like a kitten until only Saturday. This has been such a horrible shock to me and I think to us all and the grief I feel is so painful and upsetting. Don't anyone tell you losing a pet is nothing.
I love that little cat. The way she would want to be with you all the time, follow you around, cry outside doors until you let her in and then she would throw herself on the floor and offer her lovely grey and pristine white tummy for you to stroke. Lift her head up so you could stroke under her chin and feel her purr vibrate through your fingers.
Her purr was not loud and you often had to bend your head to hear it but it reverberrated through her body and there was never ever a time not even at the end when she was sick and scared did she fail to purr at our touch. On the afternoon before I took her to the vets I laid on the bed beside her and she purred. I stroked her gently and she purred louder, I stroked her some more and she purred even louded and stretched her paws in that pawing moving, oh so gently now though, not like before when you could put your fingers under her claws.
She was so gentle though. Never once did she hurt us or growl or moan or scratch or bite. Even when she found spiders she killed them with love, just ever so gently batting them around not realising that she was actually battering them to death. The one time she brought a bird in the house was an already dead one she found and wasn't she pleased and excited to bring it in doors?
Oh how we will all miss her. We'll miss how she welcomed us home. We'll miss how she always was there to greet us no matter how early or late in the morning or evening. I'll miss her chasing shadows or asking me to move the bathroom mirror to catch the light so she could chase it. We'll miss how when you get down on the floor to look for something she automatically thinks you are looking for her red rubber ball to throw for her so in the end you do look for the ball and do throw it for her. We'll miss how she put herself in good positions at different times of the day, outside the bathroom door in the mornning, on my computer bag while I was working or trying to lay on the lap top keys and I swear it was probably her that switched off the wifi key by laying across it.
Molly who would talk to you incessantly. Molly who when you picked her up and put her lovely gorgeous little grey head under your chin where you could feel her purr as you spoke to her she would answer you. How you could feel her velvety ears so cool and soft. How her beautiful green eyes would watch you and look at you for love and attention. Love me, pay attention to me was what she seemed to be saying to all of us and we all responded. We all loved her and gave her as much attention as we could and now she is suddenly and shockingly gone and we will grieve and miss her and there will never ever be another Molly again. I am incredibly sad and at this moment cannot imagine ever being over losing her.
I love that little cat. The way she would want to be with you all the time, follow you around, cry outside doors until you let her in and then she would throw herself on the floor and offer her lovely grey and pristine white tummy for you to stroke. Lift her head up so you could stroke under her chin and feel her purr vibrate through your fingers.
Her purr was not loud and you often had to bend your head to hear it but it reverberrated through her body and there was never ever a time not even at the end when she was sick and scared did she fail to purr at our touch. On the afternoon before I took her to the vets I laid on the bed beside her and she purred. I stroked her gently and she purred louder, I stroked her some more and she purred even louded and stretched her paws in that pawing moving, oh so gently now though, not like before when you could put your fingers under her claws.
She was so gentle though. Never once did she hurt us or growl or moan or scratch or bite. Even when she found spiders she killed them with love, just ever so gently batting them around not realising that she was actually battering them to death. The one time she brought a bird in the house was an already dead one she found and wasn't she pleased and excited to bring it in doors?
Oh how we will all miss her. We'll miss how she welcomed us home. We'll miss how she always was there to greet us no matter how early or late in the morning or evening. I'll miss her chasing shadows or asking me to move the bathroom mirror to catch the light so she could chase it. We'll miss how when you get down on the floor to look for something she automatically thinks you are looking for her red rubber ball to throw for her so in the end you do look for the ball and do throw it for her. We'll miss how she put herself in good positions at different times of the day, outside the bathroom door in the mornning, on my computer bag while I was working or trying to lay on the lap top keys and I swear it was probably her that switched off the wifi key by laying across it.
Molly who would talk to you incessantly. Molly who when you picked her up and put her lovely gorgeous little grey head under your chin where you could feel her purr as you spoke to her she would answer you. How you could feel her velvety ears so cool and soft. How her beautiful green eyes would watch you and look at you for love and attention. Love me, pay attention to me was what she seemed to be saying to all of us and we all responded. We all loved her and gave her as much attention as we could and now she is suddenly and shockingly gone and we will grieve and miss her and there will never ever be another Molly again. I am incredibly sad and at this moment cannot imagine ever being over losing her.
Tuesday, 20 January 2009
What were you doing the day that Barack Obama was inaugerated as the first Black President of the USA?
I'm sitting in a very messy house partly answering emails for work and partly watching the proceedings on the tv with the heating and fire on this cold grey January day.
Why messy house? Because we are partly through our sitting room being redecorated due to a leak caused by the mfi bathroom fitters (this journey started last June remember) and the ceiling which should have been finished now needs to come down and be rebuilt and then plastered again and hence the mess and dust.
But the tv has just shown Barack fluff his declaration poor love I think he was bit over excited and raring to go. Lets listen to the speech.
He is talking about the crisis facing the country and that people should pick themselves up, dust themselves off and (no not start all over again but re build the country again. Massive public works similar to FDR and the new deal. I wonder if they need to build the country in a different way rather than rebuild.
He's now saying they will look at what works will be kept and what doesn't will be got rid of.
Its funny watching the crowd, you see his daughter filming him on her digital camera and a friend yawning.
A link to his fathers village in Kenya says America is friends with everyone!! Wow even those that oppose capitalism?
Sends a strong message to the terroists that they will be beaten. I guess that pleases lots of people that worry about capitulation and yet he talks about wanting peace and is talking directly to Moslems.
The world has changed and we must change with it.
He changes his tone and volume when talking of positive attributes of honesty, goodness and kindess.
He talks of being a man who 60 years ago would not have been served in a restaurant is now the president.
Builds to a crescendo when talkin of going ahead through difficult times, icy winds and weather.
It sounded like he was trying to manage difficult expectations.
He has just shaken George Bush hands who has been very gracious through this transition and perhaps that is the best thing I will say about him!
So Barack can you do it? You said you could but did you really know what it was that was needed and now you are beginning to find out can you really do it?
the world waits to find out and meanwhile I wait to find out if my sitting room will be re decorated.
I'm sitting in a very messy house partly answering emails for work and partly watching the proceedings on the tv with the heating and fire on this cold grey January day.
Why messy house? Because we are partly through our sitting room being redecorated due to a leak caused by the mfi bathroom fitters (this journey started last June remember) and the ceiling which should have been finished now needs to come down and be rebuilt and then plastered again and hence the mess and dust.
But the tv has just shown Barack fluff his declaration poor love I think he was bit over excited and raring to go. Lets listen to the speech.
He is talking about the crisis facing the country and that people should pick themselves up, dust themselves off and (no not start all over again but re build the country again. Massive public works similar to FDR and the new deal. I wonder if they need to build the country in a different way rather than rebuild.
He's now saying they will look at what works will be kept and what doesn't will be got rid of.
Its funny watching the crowd, you see his daughter filming him on her digital camera and a friend yawning.
A link to his fathers village in Kenya says America is friends with everyone!! Wow even those that oppose capitalism?
Sends a strong message to the terroists that they will be beaten. I guess that pleases lots of people that worry about capitulation and yet he talks about wanting peace and is talking directly to Moslems.
The world has changed and we must change with it.
He changes his tone and volume when talking of positive attributes of honesty, goodness and kindess.
He talks of being a man who 60 years ago would not have been served in a restaurant is now the president.
Builds to a crescendo when talkin of going ahead through difficult times, icy winds and weather.
It sounded like he was trying to manage difficult expectations.
He has just shaken George Bush hands who has been very gracious through this transition and perhaps that is the best thing I will say about him!
So Barack can you do it? You said you could but did you really know what it was that was needed and now you are beginning to find out can you really do it?
the world waits to find out and meanwhile I wait to find out if my sitting room will be re decorated.
Thursday, 8 January 2009
End of Christmas holidays
Today was the last day of my Christmas holiday and bearing in mind that I have not been officially at work since Christmas eve although in reality the last few days before Christmas were very quiet and I have had some considerable time off it has gone very quickly and I've enjoyed it all and am not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow.
I have slowed down so much, going to bed earlier and sleeping longer, pottering around and not even doing much housework, today I have not even made the bed a shocking event for me! I cannot say I am bursting with energy following all this resting and there is something to be said for keeping busy to feel energetic but I do think it has done me good to stop working and take stock of things for a bit.
We had a lovely Christmas and although it was a lot of work for me I did enjoy seeing everyone have a good time and it did seem as if they did with lots of laughter and silly games and stuff. No one got stroppy and there did not seem to be any atmosphere well none that I could detect at any rate.
The rest of the holidays was nice with enough rest and recuperation followed by Big Sheet nights and more rest and recuperation.
Tomorrow I am supposed to be going to my bosses for a late Christmas meal but to be honest I really don't want to do that late night driving so am not sure if I will go or not. Ideally I would like to go to work tomorrow to find it has been postponed till the spring and the warmer weather.
Talking of weather we have had several really cold days and nights with temperatures plunging to below zero. So much for global warming.
Saturday we have the murder mystery and hopefully this will be fun. I am trying to find some cheap and quick recipes for canapes another reason I don't want to go out tomorrow as I shall want an early start on Saturday and have to yet get the wall paper for the sitting room.
I think I have finally chosen the style which is big and bold with browns and creams in it and should be a good contrast for the rest of the room which will be a bright cream wallpaper.
Lots to do at the weekend as following the murder mystery everything will have to be removed from sitting room for the plasterers to come early Monday morning.
No the more I think about it the more unappealling going out tomorrow night feels.
I have slowed down so much, going to bed earlier and sleeping longer, pottering around and not even doing much housework, today I have not even made the bed a shocking event for me! I cannot say I am bursting with energy following all this resting and there is something to be said for keeping busy to feel energetic but I do think it has done me good to stop working and take stock of things for a bit.
We had a lovely Christmas and although it was a lot of work for me I did enjoy seeing everyone have a good time and it did seem as if they did with lots of laughter and silly games and stuff. No one got stroppy and there did not seem to be any atmosphere well none that I could detect at any rate.
The rest of the holidays was nice with enough rest and recuperation followed by Big Sheet nights and more rest and recuperation.
Tomorrow I am supposed to be going to my bosses for a late Christmas meal but to be honest I really don't want to do that late night driving so am not sure if I will go or not. Ideally I would like to go to work tomorrow to find it has been postponed till the spring and the warmer weather.
Talking of weather we have had several really cold days and nights with temperatures plunging to below zero. So much for global warming.
Saturday we have the murder mystery and hopefully this will be fun. I am trying to find some cheap and quick recipes for canapes another reason I don't want to go out tomorrow as I shall want an early start on Saturday and have to yet get the wall paper for the sitting room.
I think I have finally chosen the style which is big and bold with browns and creams in it and should be a good contrast for the rest of the room which will be a bright cream wallpaper.
Lots to do at the weekend as following the murder mystery everything will have to be removed from sitting room for the plasterers to come early Monday morning.
No the more I think about it the more unappealling going out tomorrow night feels.
Sunday, 4 January 2009
A good end and a good start
Just finished the annual putting away of Christmas decs and trying to rearrange the room so it looks bigger task. This generally last all day and consists of taking down decorations which looked so cosy and festive only a short while ago and now looks dusty and tawdry; dragging out the old and by now rapidly shedding its needles real Christmas tree during which I normally declare we shall have an artifical tree next year. On bad years the hoover has died and I have resorted to trying to pick up needles with a dustpan and brush but thanfully not so this year; spending hours moving furniture to different parts of the room in the hopes that it will give us more space and lend the room a cultured and cosy look but nine times out of ten I move the furntiture back again as it doesn't work in too many different ways. This year I became very tired and weary and stomped upstairs saying how nice it must be to live in a house where people notice when you are struggling and do not walk by!! Poor Richard did say I should have asked and while I run myself a bath he did clear up the cat sick and start to tidy the kitchen rubbish, it would be nice if I didn't have to ask but if he just got on and saw what needed doing but perhaps I am asking for perfection, oops no I am not I am asking for what my Dad did!!
The old year has gone with a smile and a feeling of family contentment and the new year arrived with similar feelings. Richard and I got along over the Christmas period inspired by a pre christmas lecture from Chris who told us not to row in front of Fiona and to pretend we didn't knnow hwe well again so we would be on our best behaviour. This was good as it gave me the excuse to talk to Richard without it seeming like me doing all the nagging. Anyway it worked and Christmas day especially was great, lots of food, drink and laughter with silly games of charades to finish the day. Everyone seemed to enjoy it especially Karen who might otherwise have been alone.
The new year was fun as well although originally I had planned to go to Cornwall with Jason being so ill and knowing that Chris and Ray were likely not to be feeling very socialable I decided to stay at home and celebrated with Lorraine, Kyle and Gary in the Hare. We laughed so much over silly games like roll the pig and shove a penny, brilliant.
Last night to finish off the season we watched on the big sheet Mummia mia up nice and loud, just us three girlies with no alcohol. Jayne is still feeling ill from her new year falling overs, Lorraine had a dodgy tum and I have given up alcohol for at least a month.
As they went home last night it was good feeling sober to be able to clear up and then go to bed and read for a bit after a good night rather than staggering around tryin to act sober and falling into bed. I feel so much better in the mornings as well and I have worked out that not buying so much wine is going to save me loads of money which might mean I can buy my side board that much quicker!
Boys all well and good, they make me very proud.
Weather cold and getting colder, its grey and dark out there and the birds are hungry and thirsty.
News is about middle east and affects of what is now called the recession.
Money is scary and I darnt look.
Health is good although I have a foot injury from the gym I am off to have a review tomorrow so hopefully they can reccommend some exercise that doesn't involve pounding away on my foot.
Happy New Year
The old year has gone with a smile and a feeling of family contentment and the new year arrived with similar feelings. Richard and I got along over the Christmas period inspired by a pre christmas lecture from Chris who told us not to row in front of Fiona and to pretend we didn't knnow hwe well again so we would be on our best behaviour. This was good as it gave me the excuse to talk to Richard without it seeming like me doing all the nagging. Anyway it worked and Christmas day especially was great, lots of food, drink and laughter with silly games of charades to finish the day. Everyone seemed to enjoy it especially Karen who might otherwise have been alone.
The new year was fun as well although originally I had planned to go to Cornwall with Jason being so ill and knowing that Chris and Ray were likely not to be feeling very socialable I decided to stay at home and celebrated with Lorraine, Kyle and Gary in the Hare. We laughed so much over silly games like roll the pig and shove a penny, brilliant.
Last night to finish off the season we watched on the big sheet Mummia mia up nice and loud, just us three girlies with no alcohol. Jayne is still feeling ill from her new year falling overs, Lorraine had a dodgy tum and I have given up alcohol for at least a month.
As they went home last night it was good feeling sober to be able to clear up and then go to bed and read for a bit after a good night rather than staggering around tryin to act sober and falling into bed. I feel so much better in the mornings as well and I have worked out that not buying so much wine is going to save me loads of money which might mean I can buy my side board that much quicker!
Boys all well and good, they make me very proud.
Weather cold and getting colder, its grey and dark out there and the birds are hungry and thirsty.
News is about middle east and affects of what is now called the recession.
Money is scary and I darnt look.
Health is good although I have a foot injury from the gym I am off to have a review tomorrow so hopefully they can reccommend some exercise that doesn't involve pounding away on my foot.
Happy New Year
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