God I am fat now. There is just no denying it or pretending or even hoping its just a temporary thing...I am officially overweight and plump. I also get stiff when crouching down, or getting out of bed in the mornings and even after a journey in the car I am all stiff at first!! Where did all this come from? I thought I would be young and supple for ever and that old age and infirmity happened only to others.
Anyways been on holiday from work for a few days and now into the stride or relaxation of laying in (listening to the sound of the workmen outside the house which will be gone soon thank goodness), having a lazy breakfast while watching heir hunters, then just pottering. Yesterday I did the garden, tidying up the pots and deadheading old flowers and cutting back faded blooms. I then dug a border at the end of the garden up near the fence.
My first border sort of felt almost emotional as if we were really leaving a mark on the house. That whoever comes after us will have that border with those plants in there. We have started a garden and left a little of ourselves behind.
Right am off to leave more of myself behind and plant some bulbs. I love how the bulbs come up in the darkest and coldest of days and they remind you of how you planted them in teeshirts and how you had the warm sun on you as you laboured. Some of that good summer sun gets transported through the bulbs to brighten the early spring/late winter day and keep us going till once again the days get longer.
I'm going to make Christine and John a little bulb garden for their patio and hopefully give them some nice summer cheer to keep them going through the long dark winter especially as I sort of feel all is not too good for them at the moment but I may be wrong. I'll find out today as off there tonight for a dinner I invited myself to...I just had a feeling to get in touch, probably nothing.
right off to change for gardening.
Friday, 20 August 2010
Monday, 16 August 2010
Flouncing but not
Just watched a cloyingly sentimental film My sisters keeper and that combined with disagreements with the South team over mapping the annual reviews has left me feeling a bit pissed off.
I try to get these things in perspective and remind myself that I won't even remember this in the great scheme of things but my initial reaction is to stay stuff your bloody job and do a flounce. It would be very satisfying to do such a flounce for about 10 minutes and thereafter I would regret my hasty words and try to find ways to minimise what I had said etc. So I have to tell myself to take deep breaths and not say anything at all and that way there will be nothing to regret.
I just wander what their concerns were? Did they think they would do more? I don't really understand the worries...but I've also learnt at last it won't help for me to ask as that will be seen as hectoring and not letting go. I've got lovely Greg in my ear whispering to leave it and walk away.
I've wasted today really not doing childcare sufficiency and just pottering watching stupid films. I like the idea of a day off but actually its not a day off cos I worry and just not work effectively and would have been better off bunking off to Cambridge to get my hair cut which was what I was thinking of doing in the first place.
On a happier note we had a lovely weekend. Phil came up and on Friday night and we went to see Inception on Saturday. Sunday we went to an exciting Plum festival which was funny just because it was so random. I love all these funny countryside events and customs.
Got some leave in a couple of days and intend to just potter about and go out for days and be a tourist.
Also have to remember when I feel like flouncing that I am able to work from home and have off days here in the sunshine with the cats...and that can't be bad now can it?...plus with things as they are who knows how many days like this there will be.
I try to get these things in perspective and remind myself that I won't even remember this in the great scheme of things but my initial reaction is to stay stuff your bloody job and do a flounce. It would be very satisfying to do such a flounce for about 10 minutes and thereafter I would regret my hasty words and try to find ways to minimise what I had said etc. So I have to tell myself to take deep breaths and not say anything at all and that way there will be nothing to regret.
I just wander what their concerns were? Did they think they would do more? I don't really understand the worries...but I've also learnt at last it won't help for me to ask as that will be seen as hectoring and not letting go. I've got lovely Greg in my ear whispering to leave it and walk away.
I've wasted today really not doing childcare sufficiency and just pottering watching stupid films. I like the idea of a day off but actually its not a day off cos I worry and just not work effectively and would have been better off bunking off to Cambridge to get my hair cut which was what I was thinking of doing in the first place.
On a happier note we had a lovely weekend. Phil came up and on Friday night and we went to see Inception on Saturday. Sunday we went to an exciting Plum festival which was funny just because it was so random. I love all these funny countryside events and customs.
Got some leave in a couple of days and intend to just potter about and go out for days and be a tourist.
Also have to remember when I feel like flouncing that I am able to work from home and have off days here in the sunshine with the cats...and that can't be bad now can it?...plus with things as they are who knows how many days like this there will be.
Tuesday, 3 August 2010
wind in the willows with famous five
I've been making some videos of the house and downloading onto youtube to share with Chris and Ray however I'm a bit worried that potential burglars could check us out not that we have anything worth stealing but you never know so as they watch them I'm deleting them. Which is a bit of a shame as they would be good to keep if you thought only nice people were going to watch them not everyone or anyone who might use them for nefarious reasons.
Essex is not a good place to work for at the moment as colleagues are being made redundant all around me and I will be lucky to escape. It feels like a sea disaster movie when the ship wrecked passengers are all in a circle in the sea surrounded by sharks and gradually they get picked off and the circle gets smaller. Will we be rescued before the sharks eat us all?
Worked at H today which as per usual is a hot bed of mess and lack of leadership which is grossly unfair with Ofsted looming and the operations managers in line to take all the flak.
Can't remember what else I was going to talk about today. At the weekend R and I walked through the Granchester meadows which was lovely. I've been wanting to do that walk for ages. Its very popular but also like a lost time with the canal meandering along and people picnicking on the banks or gliding past on punts or like us just walking by.
Cambridgeshire is full of people either cycling or picnicking another cultural difference to where we lived before where a picnic might consist of a few sandwiches and a couple of cans of lager followed by a visit to the nearest pub. Here its a very organised affair with large beautiful wicker hampers (our local John Lewis has loads in stock). Rugs are laid out and wine coolers with bottles placed on the ground. the food always looks interesting with lots of home made salads and savouries with cakes to follow. You see whole generations of families sitting by the river bank or playing games or tying the punt to a bank while they all get out to picnic. Its like going back 50 years and I love it...going back to Wind in the Willows filled with the famous five.
Essex is not a good place to work for at the moment as colleagues are being made redundant all around me and I will be lucky to escape. It feels like a sea disaster movie when the ship wrecked passengers are all in a circle in the sea surrounded by sharks and gradually they get picked off and the circle gets smaller. Will we be rescued before the sharks eat us all?
Worked at H today which as per usual is a hot bed of mess and lack of leadership which is grossly unfair with Ofsted looming and the operations managers in line to take all the flak.
Can't remember what else I was going to talk about today. At the weekend R and I walked through the Granchester meadows which was lovely. I've been wanting to do that walk for ages. Its very popular but also like a lost time with the canal meandering along and people picnicking on the banks or gliding past on punts or like us just walking by.
Cambridgeshire is full of people either cycling or picnicking another cultural difference to where we lived before where a picnic might consist of a few sandwiches and a couple of cans of lager followed by a visit to the nearest pub. Here its a very organised affair with large beautiful wicker hampers (our local John Lewis has loads in stock). Rugs are laid out and wine coolers with bottles placed on the ground. the food always looks interesting with lots of home made salads and savouries with cakes to follow. You see whole generations of families sitting by the river bank or playing games or tying the punt to a bank while they all get out to picnic. Its like going back 50 years and I love it...going back to Wind in the Willows filled with the famous five.
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