Christmas and New Year

Here we are on New Years Eve with the house all cosy and warm and still festive from Christmas. We had a lovely christmas with plenty to eat and drink. We all had fun and my happiest christmas memories are of all the family being in the kitchen whilst Karen and I cooked the dinner and how gradually the music took over and we had a bit of a dance. There was lots of loud voices and laughter. The dinner went well and the turkey was gorgeous.
The activities were a great success and will definitely be repeated next year. Karen read tarots, Fiona did play dough game which was great and Phil did a film quiz which was also educational. Chris table football was not so good and I hope next year he does some magic instead. Richard and I did Just a minute which was also good fun but I must remember to choose Karen last next year as she kept wanting to stop once she had had her turn and needs to remember to support everyone who had prepared something. Anyway lots of shouting and laughter again.

The boys and Fiona didn't go back till the day after boxing day and then Angela and Kevin came down the same day so when Lorraine and Jayne cancelled due to family crisis for Jayne I was quite relived as felt shattered. Yesterday I went over to see Christine and John and that was lovely seeing John's family again.

All in all a very good christmas. Just how I imagined and hoped it would be.

Now here is New Years eve, another year over and new one about to begin. Last year was a very good year for me. I have so enjoyed living here. We've had better family experiences and had a better standard of living. Enjoyed eating out in some lovely places, visited some interesting and beautiful countryside and attended some interesting places such as the windmill and the american war cemetery. Health has generally been good for which I thank some one or something and never take for granted. Money could always be better and job security could be better but there is enough just about. Life has been good and fingers crossed and hopes and prayers that it continues in the same way for next year.
New Years eve's are always a bit scary and exciting because they remind you that you never know what the next few months will bring and that actually you had better appreciate what you have now because life never ever stays the same.
Happy New Year everyon

Early Snow and winter has arrived.

The winter has arrived with a real vengence. No gradual slip from a mellow autumn into a mild and wet winter...no we have snow and some parts of the country have ground to a halt well ahead of the expected January snow.

Its cold and grey and everywhere here has a light dusting of snow with more promised overnight. Urgh we have months ahead of this. Its dark apart from a small gap in the middle of the day. I keep saying we are almost at the shortest day but in reality we have almost three weeks till we reach that point and then its gradually the lengthening of the days.

With this sudden cold snap I do wonder how the birds are coping with this sudden dramatic change? I also wonder how they will cope with this extended winter. Perhaps we have the horrid stuff now and the rest of the winter will be mild? Fingers crossed and I don't actually hold that much hope...this is probably it till the end of March!!

On the plus side the house is lovely and cosy and warm. The mellow lights make it feel so cosy and of course I still love being here.

I am ahead with christmas preparations as well. All presents are bought apart from Angela's which I will have to think about. Boys all planned and purchased. Chris birthday all planned as well and meal booked. Just need to be around when postman delivers and then wrap.

As I am typing there is an extended weather report telling us that if you have not yet had snow then expect it tonight and tomorrow!!!

Flu and Prince William is engaged

It turned out it wasn't a cold after all but full blown flu. I have not had flu for years and this really did knock me out. Here I am just over a week later and still recovering. I have not been back to work and even went to the doctors much to their surprise as well as my own as they kept saying you are never ill, your records show you are never ill etc etc. Once the fever died down I just felt so exhuasted and even climbing the stairs to my bedroom left my heart racing and me panting with total exhaustion. I have seen the future as an old woman and I don't like it. I am guilty suspecting that the way this left me so low was largely down to my own general unfitness and once again I hear myself promising to get fit, take more exercise which is easy to promise while I am still not well enough to put this promise to the test and start a new fitness regime.

Other news is that Prince William is engaged to be married to Kate Middleton. He has given her his mothers old engagement ring which is a bit spookey. The poor girl is going to be haunted by Diana anyway without having to wear that doomed piece of jewellry.

I remember watching the young Diana on her engagement interview so full of hope and love and so shy and smiley. Look what the horrible Prince Charles and his bloody family did to her? When Kate spoke about the royal family being welcoming I just shouted at the telly 'run girl they are all gouls and will pull at your neck and drag you down until you lose that youthful shine.'

The press have gone mad and its all over the news tonight plus sudden documentaries with vague people who may have just bumped into the couple eight years ago suddenly saying they have been through tough times as students when all they had was takeaways.. Give me strength!! His family is one of the richest in the world if not this country and when ever did he have to ferret down the back of the sofa for some lose change to buy bread? Tough times...makes my republican tendencies come out.

A little cold.

God I feel ill. Can't breath, eyes like gob stoppers, continous runny nose and a headache...yes a little cold but its knocking me out. I must have looked and sounded bad today because everyone at the UCP everyone said I should be at home in bed including the lovely Jan. I thought I would love someone like Jan to look after me. You would feel so safe and reassured with her checking on you, taking your pulse etc.

I'd like to take tomorrow sick but have to go in to do focus group which I know sounds silly but if I dont do it this week I dont know when it will be done!

Perhaps this is the worse day and tomorrow will be better.

Winter on the way

Life feels a bit stressful at the moment. My Mum had her masectomy and today found out that she needs either another procedure on the other side or another mastectomy. She is worried about being a nusience which is good of her and at the same time trying to consider what is best for her long term health. Not an easy dicision really and one that will involve all her daughters input or consideration.

Work is very stressful with more and more things being demanded upon us with little time to do things and sitting in the team meeting last week I could feel the pressure building in my head.

Home is mostly okay although this last weekend we had the battle of the bins with Richard and Number 60 fighting over where the bin should stay and her saying to Richard that if he touched her bin again she would call the police!! I managed to quieten things down but I'm not sure for how long.

I am also worried as usual about money although that has not stopped me spending more on lovely purple coats and meals out.

Another stress of course is the uncertainty of my job...will I have one? The spending review will mean a huge cut in public spending especially for local authorities and will I have a job? Who knows.

The weather is changing the nights are getting longer and winter is just around the corner.

I'm just watching the news where they are talking about a magnificent red deer called The Empororer that was shot for the trophy of his antlers. Such a beautiful animal and shot by some stupid rich arrogant twat.

Although this government has only been in power for a few months the difference between rich and poor is already growing wider.

So lots of stress and worries.

Positives include I still love my house, I love living in this area and have had a brilliant 10 months of cultural things, nice meals out and family and friends to stay over etc.

I am healthy. My family apart from mum is healthy.
I am independent and mobile.
I have lovely family and lovely friends.
I am clever and smart and funny.
Life is good.

She has her masectomy tomorrow and I can't imagine what tonight must feel like for her. It easy for male consultants to talk breezily about taking off a breast and expecting a quick almost painless recovery but to a woman it could feel like a disfigurement. Its not like taking out an appendix which doesn't show and my Mum is not the sort to bounce back after anything let alone a mastectomy. I predict months if not years of continued misery and depression for her and those closest to her. Like a pond with a stone plopped into the middle the ripples will be stronger the nearer you are to the centre ie Lisa and then Karen and then me almost by default.
Its quite easy not feeling anything really except I feel like a fraud when people offer me sympathy and then I worry they think me heartless but at the same time I can't possibly explain that for many years all emotion to that women was switched off . The current that flowed from my heart is a dead wire with no power inside anymore.

A mastectomy

She needs a mastectomy and they are investigating if she has the cancer in her other breast which might lead to a full mastectomy. So far she has been very brave and is facing it with great grit and composure long may it reign.
Lisa is depressed to think its all going to affect her own life and I am contemplating taking time out of my life to be available and its all a bit reluctant which in its turn is sad and depressing.
To be honest it all feels a bit remote and its not difficult to forget and just get on with life and then you remember that she is about to undergo a horrible and maiming procedure. I've said that when they find out when she is due to go for surgery I'll try and arrange a visit. It would be slightly weird if this does coincide with the dates I've booked on my train ticket...bigger things than we realise at work me thinks.

Right now I have Ed Milliband on the news making his first speech to the labourn party. It seems odd seeing this new generation taking over from Blair and Brown. I hate to say it but they seem too young. I remember thinking that all politicians were all old men and now I have reached the time in my life when they now seem too young!! Horible but at the same time quite comfortable as well. I don't think that our new Ed has quite the power of being able to make a good speech like Tone had or even Gordon really.

Had a lovely weekend with Chris and Fiona coming down on Saturday and saw all their 500 china photos. Then off to Cambridge for a tapas with our Phil to celebrate his birthday and dessert at the Copper Kettle. A nice night not spoilt by drunken rampages as Chris and Fiona went home the same night. Next day we all sat in watchig films whilst the rain came down outside and then a meal with Phil at De Luca a lovely Italian again in Cambridge...we must stop spending money on meals out as we are living way beyond our means.
Right off to cook tea and take an echania tablet as I can feel a cold coming on and I put it off a while ago with the drug.