Happy New Year

New Years Eve and who would have thought this time last year that we would be sitting in a brand spanking new house far away from our home town. So here we are. Dinner is all but cooked, table laid and champange is chilling in the fridge. I am waiting for Richard and Chris and Fiona to celebrate the new year in.

How should I review the previous year? Since August all that was on my mind has been the house moving but before that there were holidays to Cornwall a few of those which I enjoyed immensly visiting both my aunt and the Dales twice and having such a warm welcome , I shall look forward to doing that again hopefully next year.

There was the garden which I loved growing vegetables for the first time and that wonderfully succulent cucumber, I must grow more again this year in my new but tiny garden.

There was Phil moving out and Chris moving on and in together with Fiona which was all good. Both boys in work and both provide me with a huge source of pride and love in them and how wonderfully they have grown into lovely kind, sensitive men.

There was the great loss of the best cat in the world, Molly who I still miss today and no cat can ever really replace her.

There was the lovely holiday to Amalfi where the lemons grow and the scenary is just like a postcard wherever you look even the bus stops are wonderful.

Work was stressful and busy but gradually I am feeling a familiarity about it and it was gratifying to know I am wanted so much they let me change offices but with the current political and economic climate who knows just how safe any of our jobs will be?

There were some changes in friendships with Jayne becoming more remote and more busy with her girls lives, Lorraine changing jobs and all of us drifting slightly apart but still close. Enduring friendships with Angela are still brilliant and she was the first friend to visit me here. Christine and John have been wonderful and I always feel looked after and part of the family when I visit them and of course now been introduced to the extended family who I missed seeing this christmas.

Health has been good for which I sincerely thank the greater being who has taken care of me and my families health for without health you have nothing. I must next year endeavour to take greater care of my own health and intend like I have intended in other years to get fitter and I wonder how many other people are resolving that yet again?

Hopefully money will be sorted out and arranged better this year with clear understandings of outgoings and incomings etc.

The new year brings a new house in a new neighbourhood and lots to get used to and lots to explore. Longer journeys to work but hopefully all worth it.

I wonder what I will be saying at the end of 2010 and when I review that will I be feeling as excited and optomistice about life as I am now? I do hope so.

Happy new year to everyone, stay safe and well.

I LOVE MY HOUSE

So here we are!! I am sitting at the computer in the third bedroom of my new house and it feels wonderful. Whoever said material things don't bring happiness was wrong. I am happy, very happy and its all down to my lovely house. For once all my furniture and little bits and pieces look good instead of cluttered or just wrong. For once we have space to move and breath, space to leave things out and not worry that its going to get messy and horrible. We have space to go to bed when we want, get up when we want and not disturb the other person, we have space to do our own thing whilst enjoying the company of others at different times ie meal times or relaxing times in the evening. I have always said how important the environment is and now I can experience it for myself. We have always been so cluttered and restrained in our little house no wonder there were rows and disagreements. I love my new house.

Moving is exhausting and tiring but also good fun. I have enjoyed rediscovering things I packed weeks ago and deciding where to put them to their best use.

So far the only thing I can't find is my wok but that may be in the old house. Other than that it all went amazingly well. We got in just in time before the snow came and we were marooned here. All I have heard on the news is how terrible travel conditions are so it was good we were in just in time.
Since Monday all I have done is unpack boxes and move things and put things away and so now I am about 85% done. Still boxes in cupboards but otherwise it looks like a home. We also need to buy a new sofa for down stairs and some kitchen stools but otherwise it looks and feels amazingly comfortable.

I love my new dishwasher and the washing machine seems fine as does the cooker and fridge freezer. Just got to get to grips with the heating instructions as we seem to have it on either too hot or not at all but it all seemed terribly complicated on Monday and Tuesday which may have been more about my brain being overloaded.

My arms and legs ache from carrying and lifting and walking up and down three flights of stairs and my fingers ache from carrying back heavy shopping yesterday in the snow but who cares for aches and pains I LOVE MY HOUSE!!!

Although the snow was still on the ground and all around our road it was very icey we hoped that the main roads would be clear and so in the afternoon we drove off for the new house. We avoided the M11 roundabout and had a pretty good journey. Moving house would be easier if it were not for the added difficulties of Christmas and bad weather. Next time I want to move in the summer for then you get longer brighter warmer days and free roads. Whereas we get to battle with the christmas shoppers and snow and ice making things much more slower.

Bovis gave us a bottle of champange and cool bag full of tea and coffee with some mugs and a pack full of information about the house including all the manuals for the oven, dishwasher etc. Pop over the house and have a quick look round, sign the sheet and its ours!!

I like it and Richard likes it and it still feels like the right decision however scary that might be we have to make this work.

We ate our first meal in the house in the sitting room on the lovely thick carpet in a sort of picnic.

We unpacked the bits we had brought which looked completely lost in the house and then it was back in the car for the journey home and into Tescos which had a power cut to buy food and drink for the neighbours party.

I was very touched by the kind words, and tears even and the neighbours had got together to buy us a lovely ceanothus and a bird feeder which was lovely and I shall think of them when its in the garden and Angela made me a lovely Christmas wreath to put on the new front door.

Chris and Phil and Fiona came as well which was good and later after everyone had gone we sat around chatting until time to sleep.

Today Chris and Fiona were not in a rush to leave and when they did they kidnapped Colin to keep for us until Boxing day which will be another worry less for the next few days. Bruce is already becomming more confident and affectionate which is rather sad that he feels so constrained by another cat his full personality does not appear.

I am tired but still have the kitchen to wash up and pack. Got to get up early tomorrow to pack remaining computer and tv and odd bits and then weather and snow and ice permitting off we go to our new home and new life. When I next post it should be from our new home.

New home but snowed in

The money went through and the keys were ready for us to collect and claim ownership of our brand new house but snow and ice meant we were housebound and couldn't make the journey.
Its lovely getting phone calls saying congratulations on becomming the owner of a lovely new house but its frustrating at not being able to go and see it and start unloading the many boxes that are packed and ready to take there.

Our lives are in boxes now and although I have thrown away so much junk I still think we have too much that is rubbish and I suspect like Sylvia said the other day that you throw things away as you pack and then you throw away more as you unpack. We are now at the stage of having odd things that you just put in any old box as you don't know which box or category it belongs to.

I suppose thats what I have been doing lately, categorising or cataloguing our lives. Does this item belong to the kitchen box and if so is it kitchen with plastics or kitchen fragile? Does this item belong to bureau or computer or bed 3 and if so where in bed three will all this go? Richard seems to have more stuff to packwith still a full up fitted wardrobe and things under his bed except now we have run out of boxes.

The snow has been quite heavy and frozen making the roads too treacherous to drive and yet more snow is predicted tonight so I am wondering if we will get to the house tomorrow or have to put it off yet another day.

I have to be philosophical about it a few days is going to be nothing compared to a lifetime or at least years of living there. This life here with all its familiarity and comfort will go and hopefully a new life of new comforts and excitement will start and be a good one. I want to make this new house a happy home that welcomes all. I don't want it to be a quiet house but instead I would love people popping in and out and so we are going to have to work hard at making new friends and becomming sociable people that you visit. I wonder what our new neighbours will be like?

Tomorrow we have the neighbours coming round and Chris and Fiona and Phil and Angela and Lorraine and possibly Jayne were all supposed to come round but if this snow is still bad it might not be so many, which won't be a bad thing as still have lots to do.

Terry Wogan finished his show today and I felt sad and tearful listening to him saying goodbye. He was a brilliant radio presenter, always cheerful and funny, self deprecating and fairly humble. You did feel like he was with you and spoke directly to you and I will miss not being able to switch him on like I did when driving or when my regular Today programme got too heavy. Good old Tel.

On the night before we pick up the keys ...snow!!

Snow Snow Snow falling hard with strong winds blowing around the house making rumbling noises on the night before we are intending to pick up the keys and we suddenly go from a one house family to a two house portfolio and on our way to becomming landlords and more importantly living in a house we have chosen for ourselves.
Thats the key part of this. A house we chose. Not an ex council house allocated to us by the local authority. We had a choice in this, we liked this house, we liked the area and we chose to live there...now we have to make those choices work.

The night before we are due to pick up our keys and a blizzard is blowing and its freezing cold with a snowfall of 10 centimetres predicted which will probably settle!!

I am expecting us not to be able to get to Cambourne and am resigned to having another day to pack and clean the house a bit but knowing Richard he will want to try and get there and claim the house as ours/his. I am not prepared to risk my life on snowy roads or risk getting stuck there with no bedding etc.
Another day of packing will be useful and it is one Richard could really use himself as he has packed only two boxes and both of them just contained paperwork from under his bed. Whereas I have packed slowly and systematically for several weeks and have packed up the whole house leaving only the essential things we use daily left to pack including this computer. Even these few things will take time to pack up and I predict a busy few days ahead.
At least after lunch tomorrow I can concentrate on house rather than house and work which has been very busy and demanding and I am enourmously looking forward to two weeks off work.
When I return to work I have a new office to go work from based in Saffron Walden which is a lovely town and much nearer to our new home than Harlow would have been it all feels like it is falling into place just perfectly.....

Apart from the snow

A week to go

Less than a week to go till the day I am now thinking of as 'Completion day' or 'The day we get the keys'. Its a bit like living on knifes edge in not knowing where we will be living in a few days time, although that is a bit dramatic its not as if I am a refugee and literally don't know. Get a grip Gill its a choice between two houses.

Karen has kindly asked us if we want to go to hers for Christmas which would help me enormously and I am putting pressure on Richard to say yes. He has this romantic illusion of spending Christmas day in our new house whereas I am faced with the reality of battling around the shops trying to buy food when I am in the mddle of unpacking boxes and trying to find loo rolls.

Still the endless sorting and packing goes on and yesterday I found the whole story of mine and Larry's affair. I had written it all down, dates, feelings and the big build up to it all. I sounded terribly innocent and romantic and wanting someone to love me which Larry did offer. I sound quite young and when you see the photo's of me I was very young. I even reflect at one point that a counsellor said I was going through a second adolescence. Then I thought that felt a good description of how I felt whereas today I would be mortified and embarrassed if someone suggested that to me.

Times move on and yes I was having a second adolescence but I think I needed that to grow up and become the person I am today. Someone with flaws but hopefully somone still kind and caring and wanting the best for everyone. Richard and I have both mellowed and grown up although we still niggle and moan and drive others mad we are better than we were a year ago and defintely better than a few years ago when we were not even talking to each other and the atmosphere in this house was unbearable. My biggest regret is the damage we may have done to the boys who were the real casualties of our war.

Stress

I've come to the conclusion that I am extremely stressed and possibly have high blood pressure. I have a semi permanent headache, not sleeping, feeling distracted (yesterday I got into the wrong lane at the traffic lights and ended up having to drive out of my way only to have to turn around later) and had several dizzy spells last week and now have a blood shot eye that has been bloodshot since Monday.

I tried to go to the walk in centre today but they wouldn;t see me and said I had to go to my doctors. So I have a doctors appointment tomorrow which I am sorely tempted to cancel. I got lots of work done today and after hearing from Bovis who seem to be agreeing with us that the kitchen cupboards are not sufficient some parts of life should calm down. Well work bits anyway as I feel there is little more I can do with Harlow in particular.
Well hopefully after tomorrows meeting with Together for Children life in Harlow might calm down. I seem to be on a mission with them and want perfection whereas what I can hope for is we all work together to achieve a satisfactory working arrangement. Diane keeps telling me to calm down and don;t make myself ill and i wonder just how perfectionist I am and that perhaps other Children Centres are just the same and other CCDO's have low expectations...but I don't really believe this.

Anyway I might cancel the doctors see how I am tomorrow.

Ooh more good news my desk at Saffron has been identified for me .yippeeee

The battle of the kitchen cupboards

Went to visit the house on Saturday and my first thought was how over looked we are. I can see the windows in the house opposite and I guess if the people there looked out there windows they could see into our kitchen. It felt a bit odd to me because despite being surrounded by houses and flats here the flats are a little way off and its harder for them to see us as we have bushes and greenery growing which disguises the flats. I know when you are in Mary's garden which is only two along it feels incredibly over looked by the horrible flats so my perception may be self deception.
My second thought was that it seems to be pretty much how we remembered it albeit without the show house dressing....pretty much except in the kitchen above the worktop the only kitchen cupboards are two long narrow units that lift up to open a bit like a garage door only not sliding in. I can barely reach them and was thinking these would be pretty useless to me.

It was when I got home and started thinking I began to realise that there is less than half the units we were expecting!! Where was I to put glassware and crockery? Would I end up with less cupboards than I have in my tiny kitchen at present?

I phoned Bovis yesterday and was dissapointed but not shocked at their first response which was they could give us the name of the manufacturer and we could purchase some ourselves!! Their second response once I pursued this was to say they would ask the site director. They later came back and said they were having problems reaching the narrow units themselves and they would get back to me later.

Its not just reaching the units thats the problem its the lack of proper cupboards. These would hold less than half a normal cupboard and because of the narrowness would only be good for mugs and glasses. What about plates and china? What about casseroles and serving dishes?

I have decided to hold fast and say we will not proceed to completion until we have a satisfactory in our favour decision. They will try and say as they did yesterday that the spec has changed but to my mind this is totally unsatisfactory. If necessary I will delay the completion until after Christmas which might be better for us as we could have christmas here as usual with no worries about getting family to us and back again.

The whole thing is giving me a headache though as I hate all confrontation and just want a peaceful life. I wonder though it I relished the idea of a fight would I get more?

Going back to Saturday it was fun dressed in hard hats and luminous jackets and wearing big boots tramping around our soon to be home with young Andrew who seemed just as excited as us and helped us take pictures and measure for curtains etc.
Work is enormously busy as well and I find I have a permanent headache and occasionally feel dizzy and am permanently tired. I know I look tired and old and my eyes are bloodshot but apart from that am fine!! I am looking forward to the couple of weeks off work even if it will mean packing and more packing.

Collect the keys 18th December

Two weeks tomorrow we can collect the keys to our new house and our new life. That is not to say we leave everything behind because of course we don't and I am realistic enough to understand that we take our problems with us....but on the other hand a lovely new house in a lovely exciting new area and lots of new adventures to be having.

We are half packed up here with boxes everywhere and yet still more stuff to pack. I am almost used to living like this now and it will be strange to get used to being tidy and having things put away in cupboards again. We are now way beyond the point of no return and all is before us