Less than a week to go till the day I am now thinking of as 'Completion day' or 'The day we get the keys'. Its a bit like living on knifes edge in not knowing where we will be living in a few days time, although that is a bit dramatic its not as if I am a refugee and literally don't know. Get a grip Gill its a choice between two houses.
Karen has kindly asked us if we want to go to hers for Christmas which would help me enormously and I am putting pressure on Richard to say yes. He has this romantic illusion of spending Christmas day in our new house whereas I am faced with the reality of battling around the shops trying to buy food when I am in the mddle of unpacking boxes and trying to find loo rolls.
Still the endless sorting and packing goes on and yesterday I found the whole story of mine and Larry's affair. I had written it all down, dates, feelings and the big build up to it all. I sounded terribly innocent and romantic and wanting someone to love me which Larry did offer. I sound quite young and when you see the photo's of me I was very young. I even reflect at one point that a counsellor said I was going through a second adolescence. Then I thought that felt a good description of how I felt whereas today I would be mortified and embarrassed if someone suggested that to me.
Times move on and yes I was having a second adolescence but I think I needed that to grow up and become the person I am today. Someone with flaws but hopefully somone still kind and caring and wanting the best for everyone. Richard and I have both mellowed and grown up although we still niggle and moan and drive others mad we are better than we were a year ago and defintely better than a few years ago when we were not even talking to each other and the atmosphere in this house was unbearable. My biggest regret is the damage we may have done to the boys who were the real casualties of our war.
Karen has kindly asked us if we want to go to hers for Christmas which would help me enormously and I am putting pressure on Richard to say yes. He has this romantic illusion of spending Christmas day in our new house whereas I am faced with the reality of battling around the shops trying to buy food when I am in the mddle of unpacking boxes and trying to find loo rolls.
Still the endless sorting and packing goes on and yesterday I found the whole story of mine and Larry's affair. I had written it all down, dates, feelings and the big build up to it all. I sounded terribly innocent and romantic and wanting someone to love me which Larry did offer. I sound quite young and when you see the photo's of me I was very young. I even reflect at one point that a counsellor said I was going through a second adolescence. Then I thought that felt a good description of how I felt whereas today I would be mortified and embarrassed if someone suggested that to me.
Times move on and yes I was having a second adolescence but I think I needed that to grow up and become the person I am today. Someone with flaws but hopefully somone still kind and caring and wanting the best for everyone. Richard and I have both mellowed and grown up although we still niggle and moan and drive others mad we are better than we were a year ago and defintely better than a few years ago when we were not even talking to each other and the atmosphere in this house was unbearable. My biggest regret is the damage we may have done to the boys who were the real casualties of our war.
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