With boxes and suitcases all over the landing and cluttering about the house there was only ten minutes till the bathroom men were due to arrive. Why oh why does R still leave everything to the last minute and why oh why do I still expect anything less even after 30 years of marriage I still must be clinging on to the hope that one day he'll be so organised and move quickly and seem to have a good clear plan on how to do things...and in the meantime I'll remained dissapointed and frustrated. Perhaps I would be better off just excepting that somehow he manages to get things sort of done (we've got piles of stuff in the bedroom and tonight this will involve climbing over stuff to get into bed grrrrr!!) and that it all comes together in the end somehow. I suppose I feel that the somehow is largely as a result of me nagging and that if I didn't nothing would get done...but would it...somehow?

The bathroom is now an empty shell with rotten floor boards where the bath used to be and again that was where R did not put sealant around the bath when decorating and we all flooded the place blaming Phil when the water poured through the kitchen ceiling without realising that it was just a build up and poor Phil was just the last one to use the shower.

We've yet to find wall tiles and they apparently need these for Thursday or Friday so have to go back yet again (third time for tile shops) to look for tiles. I am drawn to wildly expensive ones and R is drawn like a magnet to cheapy ones so hopefully a compromise will be found.

A New Era

Its a new era, a new age and so I felt the need for a new blog. Out with the flirty forties with tales of lust and lusting after various men. Out with the gorgeous Mr V and various others and now time for a calmer me I am thinking, a me that likes gardening out the front and chatting to neighbours, looking after my family and cleaning. A me that likes to potter...so I guess if you want something more exciting than that then stop reading this right now...move away and find the exciting lives of others posted on here or near by, but if you want random ramblings of a woman having a quiet midlife crisis then continue on....on to where? I have not got a clue.

So whats happening at the moment. Its the eve of my 29th wedding anniversary and for the most part a sort of calm has entered our lives punctuated by my nagging and his horrible and childish temper tantrums when some inanimate object like the iron does not work properly. Other than that we mumble and bumble along, getting slightly on each others nerves but trying for once to be polite and considerate and not always suspect the other of some foul play.

Tomorrow is the day that work starts on the bathroom. I'm dreading the mess, the upheaval the lack of bath or sink and the fluctuations of when we can flush or not...I am also looking forward to the first time since I got married to having a newly decorated bathroom with a power shower. I know these things are what most people just take for granted but I have had to wait till I am just 3 days off 50 to get my own bathroom.

Yes thats right the 50th birthday is bearing down on me and I cannot quite believe that I will be a 50 year old woman. 50 year olds are old and I am not old. 50 year olds are sensible and boring and tired and don't have ambition or sex drive or like good music and I like all those things.
I've been in crisis about this birthday since Christmas I think and have steadily got more depressed and anxious and unhappy about my looks and weight hence giving up the gorgeous Mr V and yet seemingly unable to do anything about it ie lose weight and exercise. Instead I eat and drink and slouch and slob and hate it when I look fat in photo's and pregnant in some outfits....on the other hand grabbing a handful of my fat tummy feels strangely comforting.