Dilemma ...new house or not

So now the moment of truth dawns, the day of real deciding if we can really do this. We need to put a deposit down on the house in Cambourne and suddenly Richard starts getting all arsey about paying for things and yet for three weeks I have been checking with him as to if we can afford it and stressing and saying I can pay for nothing until my debts are paid off. Now at the moment when its almost too late he starts reading about it and making workings outs etc. This is just so typical whereas he could have read the material for the last two bloody weeks.

Can we afford it? Is it real? Has all the build up and excitement been for nothing? Will I one day read this and remember it all as a nice day dream while still sitting in good old Harlow? Will I one day read this while under a cloud of scarily high debt or will I one day read this while sitting in my lovely new house in Cambourne knowing I made the right or rather we made the right decision?

On paper we can do it? On paper our outgoings will not be any more that we pay already between us but but the reality is we are increasing our debt from £36 thousand to £171 thousand which is a massively scary figure and I am not sure that Magical mortgage man Andrew has really worked out a realistic sum for us.

He really was like a magician with numbers, his fingures whirling over the calculator and numbers muttering under his breath saying we can do this if we move this to this etc. Meanwhle Richard and I sat there like dumb mutes in stupified admiration just watching and barely able to keep up with it all. We were like lambs to the slaughter of his magical workings out and all the time the thoughts in my head were if it seems to good to be true then it probably is.

Yet here we are three weeks down the line with prospective lettings agencies willing to take our house and rent it out and mortgage companies calculating how much they will loan us and us planning tomorrow to look at new carpet for here and to visit the site on Sunday to plan our new kitchen!!

Will it happen? Can we make it happen and more importantly should we make it happen? Scared? Completely. Challenged? Absoloutely. Want to press ahead and make it happen? You bet. We only have one life and I don't want to die regretting not trying.