Still all feeling sad about Molly. We come into a room and expect her to be waiting to greet us. I hear a noise and think its her, I see a shadow out of the corner of my eye and expect it to be her. I am still in a state of disbelief that she is no more and I can't look at her photo without wanting to cry. I just want to hold her and feel her purr and her gentle ears and her head under my chin and I can't anymore ever again and thats what hurts. Richard suggested we held a memorial and I will look for a cat statue to put in the garden so we have somewhere to focus our grief and remember her by.
Poor Molly has quite put into the shadow the big news of the moment which is should we sell up, get ourselves into debt and move? We are looking at a new development not far from a beautiful city with lots of arts, education, beautiful buildings and water. The development is built around the ideas of a village and set within the countryside. I've done quite exhaustive research thanks to the internet and spoken the chair of the parish council who told me lots of interesting things and scarily we now have a house on hold and a mortgage advisor rushing around finding us all kinds of mortgages etc. Suddenly our rather safe and slow pace of life seems to be out of control and if it all goes ahead we will suddenly find we own two houses one of which we will rent out.
Speaking to Karen today was useful as she knows lots about housing and she thinks we are doing the right thing. The internet backs up the mortgage advisor and although in the back of my head I am saying if it feels to good to be true it probably is the other part of me is saying just go for it and don't live a life of regrets through taking risks.
I dream of this house with its large kitchen/family room that goes out onto the garden. I have a green colour scheme that will compliment the garden outside and with pots around the french windows and light green arm chairs or sofa surrounded by books and flowers and cooking. To me that would be the perfect room. Books, plants/flowers/cooking ..what else could you need?
The sitting room upstairs could be kept nice and for music, tv and reading and socialising although lots of socialising could also be down stairs.
Having your own bedroom with onsuite would be fantastic and again mine would be light and airy with books and feminine things.
The local community has lots of new clubs and organisations forming from running clubs for Richard to history and art clubs for me. Its set within the countryside so we could get a dog and go for long walks just a stone throw from home.
Working hard would bring its rewards of living in a lovely place with good neighbours and interesting things to do. I am excited and nervous and want things to get a move on because I don't want to live here anymore but at the same time feeling scared. This time next year I will be there!!
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