She has her masectomy tomorrow and I can't imagine what tonight must feel like for her. It easy for male consultants to talk breezily about taking off a breast and expecting a quick almost painless recovery but to a woman it could feel like a disfigurement. Its not like taking out an appendix which doesn't show and my Mum is not the sort to bounce back after anything let alone a mastectomy. I predict months if not years of continued misery and depression for her and those closest to her. Like a pond with a stone plopped into the middle the ripples will be stronger the nearer you are to the centre ie Lisa and then Karen and then me almost by default.
Its quite easy not feeling anything really except I feel like a fraud when people offer me sympathy and then I worry they think me heartless but at the same time I can't possibly explain that for many years all emotion to that women was switched off . The current that flowed from my heart is a dead wire with no power inside anymore.