Spider found lump

Potentially being saved by a spider is a bit ironic really seeing as my mum is petrified of even the tinest and most inoffensive but if she hadn't have got so hot and bothered trying to make sure it was not still within her nightie then she wouldnt have been rubbing and brushing herself and so not have found the lump in her breast.
She did all the right things in booking to see her doctor who then agreed she needed a very quick referral to hospital who following numerous tests on the Monday just past was diagnosed as having breast cancer in one breast with increased calcium in the other.
The next Monday we find out what kind of treatment she will need and from there I guess the three of us will make plans and try to get some control on something that we probably will have little control of.
We may make plans to visit or share the caring and timetable potential time off work but what we can't plan for even though we are all aware it will be there will be the unexpected. In our case the unexpected feelings and emotions. In our case it might consist of resentment of all the years of neglect and lack of maternal feelings that we all feel we suffered from. Karen seems to have forgiven her the most and phones her regularly for girly chats but note this when she was in her company for more than a couple of days all the old resentment and anger was still there. Lisa resents being left with someone who moans constantly and gives nothing by ways of emotional support to anyone but like a greedy baby bird just constantly demands. I resent being expected to do anything really as I feel emotionally cut off and only do anything out of a sense of duty and trying to support Lisa but even then I sort of feel that they encouraged Mum and Dad to travel down there and so must bear the consequences of this.
There is also the unexpected and slightly feared worry that the next few weeks and months might flare up hidden emotions and feelings that feel unbearable and thats a frightening thought.
I am also deeply worried that Karen is already becomming ill again caused by a combination of over work, worries about Mum and Jade's selfish behaviour. I do really hope and pray I am so wrong but listening to her on Monday with her rapid speech and paranoid thoughts about how other people might be behaving left me very very anxious. If she isn't ill she has a very poor view on her colleagues motivations which in itself is worrying.
So there we are. A lot of worry about more extended family. Family I have little to do with in most day to day life, but a family that impinges on me and stops me doing what I want to do and sometimes feels like I get very little back to be honest.
Karen has changed enormously in the last couple of years and is good fun to be with and we can have long chats. She is kind and enormously generous and I do love her but I don't think she understands me and assumes that I how I feel or my own motivations. I always feel I have to be on my guard with her and that she doesn't really understand me and still resents and is jealous of me.

Lisa I have fun with when I see them but that is not often. Again I do love her but don't see enough of.

Mum? Well thats old news and too much to post here today and then carryon with a productive day.

Here we go on another journey and it does give me some sense of comfort to know that one day when I read this I will know how the journey progressed and where the path led...I wonder if anyone or anything will hold my hand?