Why is it that even though I hate how fat I have become, that when I try on clothes from my wardrobe nothing looks right and I look about eight months pregnant and that despite telling myself I must eat sensibly and cut out rubbish despite all this I find myself eating a large, family size packet of cheese and onion crisps!! I'm not even hungry but rather bored and even knowing I will regret every mouthful I still eat more.
The weather has at last changed for the better and part of me wants to get out into my builders rubble and start turning it into a garden and the other feels compelled to sit indoors almost pretending to work or at least be available to work. If I am going to scam off work why at least don't I just enjoy it and do it properly that way I would'nt resort to eating and sleeping the day away.
I just don't seem to be able to focus on work properly at the moment. I think I need a proper working environment or a deadline.
On another note I still love living here. We had a lovely weekend. Didn't have anyone down which is a first for a long time. Richard and I went into town and had a wander, bought some plants and things for the garden, had a nice lunch at Giraffes. There is so much choice of places to buy lunch from in Cambridge.
Yesterday Richard entered into a local race and was joined by a running friend who came over from Marlow and bought with him a bottle of wine and some chocolates for me which was nice. I moved the bins and sat in the sun looking at the mud and planning where to put plants and grass and stuff although as per usual I am impatient for the garden to look nice NOW!!
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