New Year remorse

The shame of it was that after writing so positively about hopes for the new year I let myself down badly on new years eve by being so cross with R for being late home. I was horrible and nasty and all in front of Chris and Fiona which of course created a horrible atmosphere which really spoilt the dinner I had spent all day long preparing and the atmosphere continued until just after midnight when we went into next doors till about 3 am.
Following this Chris and I had a long chat and he let me know how uncomfortable he and Fiona find it when R and I argue and actually he is hinting quite strongly that they won't come round much if it continues. I don't blame him. We both behaved terribly and like small children arguing. Now with hindsight I can see I should have stopped, should have been charming and lovely but instead I was so unhappy at the thought of all my preparations going to waste that was all I could think about and in fact I contributed myself to wasting my own preparations instead of recovering the situation I made it worse.

R and I have spoken and have apologised but I still feel so regretful and remorseful of my behaviour and really hope it does not damage our relationship with Chris and Fiona. I can't help feeling we spoilt their new years eve and it really is a priviledge that they chose to spend it with us.

I thought I would give R a crash course on being a host and get him to practice looking after people such as serving them first etc rather than behaving like a spoilt child which just brings out the grumpy parent in me. We must do better next time not just slightly better but a hundred per cent better.

New years day was better and we despite hangovers managed to get out to Cambridge for a winters walk around the cobbled streets and had a lovely hot chocolate in a little coffee shop.

R and I went back for more shopping and and meandering the next day and again went to the little coffee shop, Benets which we both now like enormously to just sit and chill and relax. Its not a big chain and you can sit and read the papers or just chat. I just love the thought of being local to Cambridge now with all its history and differnt things going on. I love driving in and seeing the beautiful architecture and feeling a sense that this belongs to me now. We both love the house and generally are much much happier with plenty of space to move and be ourselves.

The last couple of days I have walked down to Morrisons in the afternoon and I am excited by the prospect of exporing the nature reserve bits I have seen. The other day as the light faded I heard an owl hooting in the little woods which was very special.

Not many if any local garden birds around the house though. I have put out seed but no takers so far. It may be because there are no trees or bushes for them to roost or shelter in or even find food and once more people move in and develop their gardens so the wildlife may follow, hopefully.

Its a funny day today because it seems the whole country is affected by snow with thousands of schools closed and roads blocked off and reports of people being stranded. In anticipation I cancelled the area partnership meetings and then woke here to find not a single snow flake! Richard has phoned from work to say they are all being sent home early at 1 0'clock lunch time and yet here although the sky is grey we have nothing, zilch, nada! Heavy snow is forecast and we seem to be entering an ice age but for the moment here in this little corner of Cambridgeshire all is wintry and grey but no snow.