A New Era

Its a new era, a new age and so I felt the need for a new blog. Out with the flirty forties with tales of lust and lusting after various men. Out with the gorgeous Mr V and various others and now time for a calmer me I am thinking, a me that likes gardening out the front and chatting to neighbours, looking after my family and cleaning. A me that likes to potter...so I guess if you want something more exciting than that then stop reading this right now...move away and find the exciting lives of others posted on here or near by, but if you want random ramblings of a woman having a quiet midlife crisis then continue on....on to where? I have not got a clue.

So whats happening at the moment. Its the eve of my 29th wedding anniversary and for the most part a sort of calm has entered our lives punctuated by my nagging and his horrible and childish temper tantrums when some inanimate object like the iron does not work properly. Other than that we mumble and bumble along, getting slightly on each others nerves but trying for once to be polite and considerate and not always suspect the other of some foul play.

Tomorrow is the day that work starts on the bathroom. I'm dreading the mess, the upheaval the lack of bath or sink and the fluctuations of when we can flush or not...I am also looking forward to the first time since I got married to having a newly decorated bathroom with a power shower. I know these things are what most people just take for granted but I have had to wait till I am just 3 days off 50 to get my own bathroom.

Yes thats right the 50th birthday is bearing down on me and I cannot quite believe that I will be a 50 year old woman. 50 year olds are old and I am not old. 50 year olds are sensible and boring and tired and don't have ambition or sex drive or like good music and I like all those things.
I've been in crisis about this birthday since Christmas I think and have steadily got more depressed and anxious and unhappy about my looks and weight hence giving up the gorgeous Mr V and yet seemingly unable to do anything about it ie lose weight and exercise. Instead I eat and drink and slouch and slob and hate it when I look fat in photo's and pregnant in some outfits....on the other hand grabbing a handful of my fat tummy feels strangely comforting.